Is arrogance the shadow side of low self esteem?

This might seem a ridiculous question. Arrogant people strut like they own the world, treating everyone as their servants or worse. Whereas, those who struggle with low self esteem often hide from the world, feeling like they have no value. So how could the answer to my question be, yes? Let me share what led to this question.

Two nights ago, I fell into the same dream repeatedly. That, in and of itself, told me it was important. The dream was a warning of sorts to be wary of becoming arrogant. Most who know me would conclude it wasn’t about me.

When I finally arose to start the day, I spent some time in meditation to reflect on it. As I did, I recalled the numerous occasions, while in the early stages of writing my novel, when my divine advisors told me it would be a great success and lead to other opportunities as a spirit healer. With that was the reminder to ground myself in gratitude and true humility.

During my meditation, I also thought about people who I would characterize as arrogant. A few political leaders came to mind. Some common characteristics came to mind, loud, self serving, and ultimately bullies. I believe that beneath their exterior lies low self esteem. But rather than venturing into their pain and insecurities, which takes courage, they choose to take their pain and fear out on others. So, indeed one could be the shadow of the other.

One word of caution, to those reading this. If you are still struggling to recognize your own innate value and beauty, this message is not for you. I’m reminded of something my first spiritual director, Dustin, told me when I was a novice in religious life. At that time, my self esteem was almost non-existent. I looked to others to form my identity and using the book, The Imitation of Christ, as a guide. The book is focused on self abnegation. Providentially, Dustin was also a licensed therapist and directed me to put down the book. It was a graced moment.

Returning to the dream, I knew it was a gentle reminder, as I prepare to send my first novel off to the publisher next month. Enough for now. I’m on vacation and I felt drawn to post this. Blessings to all of you as you celebrate your beauty.


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Don’t Push the River. It flows by Itself

I heard this phrase recently, and it really struck me. Apparently, it’s the title of a book written by Barry Stevens in 2005. It basically means to let go and trust the timing of the universe. Sometimes, that’s easier said than done.

Over this last year, as a spirit healer, my divine advisors have reminded me to trust them and believe that everything is happening as needed. One of the main areas this applies to is editing and publishing my first book in my spiritual fantasy series. If you’re not aware, editing takes a long, long time and can be quite tedious. Compounding the tedium is learning about something called “show, not tell,” which means that rather than providing information about a character or a situation, create a scene. It makes sense. But it’s required a good amount of rewriting. Because I started this book at the end of 2021, I’ve found myself impatient to complete it and move on to book 2. The message from my advisors echoed the 2005 book title.

Have you ever been in that situation? It can be challenging to embrace. Sometimes, the feeling of impatience comes with the belief that you must do something. Doesn’t the universe, God, or our higher power require us to do our part? If so, then how much are you supposed to do? Per the river metaphor, aren’t there pebbles or rocks you have to move to help it flow better?

As a recovering workaholic, recognizing when to do something and how much is challenging. It comes down to listening to my intuition and being attentive to my body, which gives me warning signs when I’m pushing. For 2024, my intention is to wait for the opportunities to guide me about when to take action. I’m not letting my advisors off the hook; I’ve asked them to make them obvious.

As we approach the end of 2023 and the start of 2024, I realize that some of you might be scrambling to buy presents or stressing about holiday gatherings. But maybe the metaphor is appropriate. Let the river flow, breathe, and find some time to relax and enjoy.


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Divine Humor

A central tenet of my belief is that God, angels, and all divine beings are always watching over us. My sense is that’s a common belief for many. This means that they watch us every moment of every day. I’ve been fortunate to sense their presence through a tingling sensation coursing through my body, something I first experienced a couple of years ago.

Two weeks ago, this took a comical turn. How do I say this politely? I felt their presence (that is, the tingling) while urinating. Yeah, I know it sounds gross. Some might think it was nothing more than a physical reaction. I would normally agree. But when I checked with my divine advisors, they confirmed it. Now, I could imagine some calling me blasphemous for saying such. But if you think about it, if God is truly present to us in every moment, then that includes our most mundane activities. It was an important lesson to be reminded of. Think about it.

Now, this might have been the end of the lesson had it not been for the fact that the tingles have continued since then every time I took care of business. When I accused my divine advisors of being weird, they laughed. From that emerged their next lesson: Divine beings don’t limit themselves to solemnity and seriousness. They also have moments of joy, laughter, silliness, and playfulness. Try to imagine what that might be like. Might they be luminous balls of energy careening around the divine realm and having fun? Might my guardian angel go so far as to muss my hair or even poke me?

I must admit that for much of my life, I treated my spiritual journey as a serious business with no room for laughter or silliness. But by doing so I excluded experiences that were light and in fact healing. What about you? Does your own spiritual journey include laughter and playfulness? Like me, it could lead to unexpected moments.


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Turning Doubt into Excitement

Have you ever had the experience where you knew something good was going to happen but you doubted it because your own feelings of unworthiness overpowered it? I have. Last Monday, I attended a session of Cosmic Community, a program offered by Dougall Fraser. The focus was manifesting your vision. Our homework was to visualize our dream, feel the emotions that you’d feel when it became a reality, and then notice and explore any feelings of unworthiness arise.

For me, the dream is the publishing the first book in my spiritual fantasy series. The thing is that for this my dream, I’ve gotten a constant message from my guides though spiritual readers that my book will take off. Despite that, I’ve struggled with doubt, and questions like, “what real proof do I have that that’s even possible?”

Reflecting on this, I received the following question from my guides: “Why does not knowing the details about how this will happen, result in doubt? Must the unknown equate with doubt? I immediately knew that it didn’t. And with that, I felt a weight lifted. Not knowing the how, when or what of a future blessing, doesn’t mean that you have to doubt that it will occur.

Yesterday, I was challenged to go a step further, when I learned that my sister planned a surprise trip for her husband’s birthday. For him, the how and where are unknown, but with that comes excitement. So, in place of the doubt we let go, can we embrace excitement as we anticipate our dream manifesting?

To that end, I invite to do the same homework I have, as part of your daily meditation. Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable and do the following:

  1. Visualize your dream or the good that you desire. What does it look like? What are you wearing? Who are you with?
  2. Once you clearly see than image, become aware of the emotions that you experience, for example, happy, fulfilled, grateful, etc. But feel them not just as a future experience but in that very moment; in effect, you are inviting that dream to begin manifesting now.
  3. Finally, notice if any unworthiness, doubt, or fear arise. Acknowledge them with the intention exploring their why later. Then, invite the feelings back that you had of your manifested dream. Then, hold them in your heart throughout the rest of your day.

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Letting go, trust, risk

In a recent personal oracle card reading, I received that a message that an area of my life that is blocked is abundance. The tool to break through it being still and open. The outcome of doing will be the manifestation of wonderous experiences. An exciting message, huh. My intuition says that this message is not just for me but for anyone seeking to discover opportunities and fully manifest their gifts.

A few weeks ago, I started a Certified Aura Reader course offered by Dougall Fraser and his husband David Harel. The goal is to enable the enrollees to perceive people’s auras and understand what they represent about the person’s self and gifts. As a spirit healer still growing into my identity, I sensed that developing this ability would be important. Not even half way into the course, I discovered three ideas that might be helpful to anyone.

Letting go: While this is not a new idea, for me letting go also meant telling my mind voice to shush. Ever committed to helping me on my spiritual path, it falsely believed that to help me it needed to push harder to figure “it” out, not aware that by doing this it hindered my ability to hear my intuition.

Trust: With a quiet mind, I’m once again reminded to trust. It too is not a new idea. But it calls for trust at a deeper level. For out of the quiet, our intuition has more space to perceive messages and images and to speak. A few weeks ago, during my first practice aura reading, quieting my mind and trusting were challenging. Although, what I sensed was real, it was limited. I had to trust wholeheartedly that into the silence (or at least the space that had less mind chatter) would come what I needed to hear and thus share with the person I was reading.

Risk: It can be scary to try something new, especially if others might consider it hogwash. In my case, risk called me to not edit or doubt, speaking whatever I heard through my intuitive sense, in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way. Now, before doing so, it necessitated that I go neutral, that is, set aside my mood so I could tap into the other’s energy. Risking from this place came a great sense of satisfaction.

Letting go, trust, and risk. Simple ideas but having profound outcomes if we are open to embracing them.


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Make Your Own Kind of Music

This song, by the Mamas & the Papas, popped into my head this morning. The complete chorus lyrics are: “Make your own kind of music. Sing your own special song. Make your own kind of music, even if nobody else sings along.”

This struck me this morning after pulling two cards for an Oracle deck the night before. The first card was Archangel Jeremiel, whose focus is forgiveness. The second card was Self-Acceptance. The combination of the song and the cards reminded me of a few divine messages.

As we travel along our path towards wholeness, endeavoring to live a good life and our purpose, we’re not going to do it perfectly. We’re simply need to do the best we can, and use any mistakes or struggles as learning opportunities. Archangel Jeremiel’s invitation to self-forgiveness is to fully accept ourselves as we are in the moment, letting go of any goal that implies that we would be more effectively living our purpose when we achieve X or exhibit Y.

Coming off that, the song lyrics calls us to make our own kind of music, as we are now, with all our messiness and frustrations, as well as blessings and successes.

That’s in fact the beauty of our incarnation on earth. Each of us are unique individuals. We bring into our life our experiences, gifts, struggles, passions, fears, and even quirks. Together they make their own melody that others may not understand or even agree with. Certainly, having the support of others is helpful. But we are encouraged to raise our voice in song now, as loud as we can. Granted, some of the music may clash. But I believe that giving it time, prayer, and blessings, the music will harmonize, creating an amazing chorus that transforms and heals.


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The Rhythm is going to get you

Rediscover your rhythm,
and move to it.

My blog title is a variation on Gloria Estefan’s song, The Rhythm is gonna get you. Every time I hear the song, my body starts moving and dancing. It’s odd that this song popped into my head today, because my energy is low due to a recent dental procedure. In contrast to the song, my body’s rhythm is calling me to more of a lullaby, and rest. As problematic as the procedure and the recovery have been, it’s truly providential.

In the Cosmic Community group I’m part of, the challenge for April is to rediscover our body’s sense of time and rhythm. In a world heavily influenced by the manufacturing world where schedules, planning, a rapid pace rule, it’s not always easy to find. Requirements of work, family, and others need to be attended to. But, in all of this, do we sometimes forget to listen to our body and our spirit’s musical rhythm? I must admit that I do.

At the beginning of this month, my intention was to rediscover that rhythm. As usual, my mind, in an interest in wanting to help, endeavored to figure it out. “OK, body, what’s my rhythm,” it asked several times. Sometimes it suggested it was the beat of my heart. Other times it wondered if it was my walking pace, that’s part of my health regime. Neither felt quite true.

The answer came at a recent one-hour webinar. I asked the presenter how to more fully live out my calling as a spirit healer. Her response was simple, live your passion, which translated to me findinig my rhythm through my passion. The dental procedure also made me realize that the cadence and tone can change. While it can be quick and bouncy when I work on my fantasy novel, it can also be Other times slow, easy, and full of rests, like when I mediate or even sleep more, as I am healing from the surgery.

What’s your body saying? What’s your passion and what is the rhythm that it’s inviting you to? As you do so, be attentive to and responsive to its changing cadence. Right now, my body is again calling me to rest (and not edit this blog a third time). But, before I do, one final thing. By opening yourself to discover your passion and its rhythim, you create your music. And truly, as Gloria sang, “the rhythm is gonna get you.”


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Embody the Fool

Today, April 1, is All Fools’ Day. On this day, many engage in pranks. I found myself thinking about this day from another perspective. Normally, people don’t want to be thought of as a fool. But I wonder if there are situations when acting like the fool is a good thing?

Embody the Fool

Over the last months, storms of all kinds have taken their toll. Despite that, many still insist there is no global warming. To them, those who challenge their mindset are fools. Are we not encouraged look foolish on our world’s behalf?

In the corporate world, standard business practice for laying off people is to use the phrase, we’ve eliminated your position, rather than honestly calling it what it is. Ironically, some of the same businesses talk about the importance of their employees. Yet they demand long work hours for insufficient pay. In both cases, might we be called to play the fool and call them on it?

Let’s look at this from an even more personal perspective. For those whose childhood was marked with trauma and abuse, it was critical to be invisible in order to stay safe. Taking risks or trying something new would be foolish. Such a person might conclude that it’s better to stay in a job that you hate or a relationship that is unhealthy. And some would consider it foolish to dig into the trauma, even if it might bring healing. Yet might this foolishness lead to peace and possibilities?

This week, many in the world celebrate Holy Week. It starts with Palm/Passion Sunday, which marks the day that Jesus enters Jerusalem, a place in which he ultimately dies. Some would consider traveling there foolish. Religious leaders of the time would consider him foolish and dangerous for what he taught. Yet, he willingly embodied the fool to follow his calling.

During the month of April, what if we embody the fool? What if we take risks that reflect our purpose, even if they might be scary or difficult. What if we to stand up to care for all people and our universe? What if we demand honesty from corporations?

 What do you say? Are you with me?


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Healer Menace and Miracle: Chronicles of a Spirit Healer

Hi everyone. This isn’t one of my usual blogs. This is actually an announcement about the fact that I recently submitted a book proposal to a publisher. The title above is the working title of my spiritual fantasy. It will be the first book in a series.

Admittedly, this type of writing is a significant departure from my blogs thus far, as they have been discussions about God, purpose, self-improvement, and the like. However, like my blogs, the book does reflect the intent of my website, to inspire people to remember their innate divine self and their unique gifts and calling.

As mentioned in my post last December, the idea for it came unexpectedly after attending a writers workshop at the end of 2021.

This video introduces you to the storyline of the book, and the main character Thom Macirdan.

Announcement: Book proposal submission.

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Strengthening our Connection

The eve of the day on which many celebrate the birth of God as human, a bringer of light.
The seventh day of Hanukkah, representing the seventh day that the temple lantern remained burning.
The third day following the Winter Solstice, marking the coming of more daylight.

These events call out our connection to the divine. I believe we already have that innately. For like Jesus, we are incarnated essences of the divine, and bearers of that same light.

I’ve been reading James Redfield’s Celestine Prophecy series again. Its characters explore their connection to source, including remembering their life’s purpose, and committing to resolving past hurts that limit their ability to do so. Through their discussions, they identify coincidences and signs from the divine that can support that.

I love reading these types of books, because they resonate with my own journey. In my case, fear has been a limiter. This has surfaced in such ways as fear of trying something new or getting it wrong. To help me heal and move past this, I regularly seek guidance from the divine.

This morning, at 4:30 am, I awoke believing that I had just received such guidance. Now, my understanding is that between the hours of 3 and 5 am, we are especially sensitivity to divine messages. Mine was an invitation to strengthen my connection. That message was preceded, over the last month, by four signs, which alluded to it. The first was the suggestion to read the Redfield series again. The second was an oracle card that acknowledged that although my path has been a meandering one, it serves my life purpose. The last two are signs that some of you might not believe: a flickering overhead kitchen light (one of four) caused by a loose wire, and an occasionally unresponsive wireless mouse, neither of which are resolved yet. This message didn’t point out what I wasn’t doing wrong, but communicated encouragement and hope.

At this time of year, when we light candles or trees, and celebrate connections, what messages or signs have you received? I truly believe that you are provided them. If you haven’t noted any, no worries. You’ll receive more.  Just keep your eyes, ears, and hearts open, and ask your higher power or God to help you recognize them.

May the blessings of this season warm you heart, and make you glow with divine light.

p.s. After I wrote this but before I posted it, I went for a walk. While listening to music, a commercial came on that essentially said that despite the hardships and challenges we face, we’ve got this.


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