Lead your Dream; Embody your Vision

What is your dream or vision? Are you living it? If you are still searching for yours, one way to find it is to consider what you are drawn to. What excites you or arouses your passion?

Two years ago, my passion resulted in the creation of my website, in service of my calling as a spirit healer. Up until now, besides posting blogs, my vision included writing a self-help book. But a year ago, that plan took a surprise direction when I attended a writing workshop and heard a participant explain that she wanted to write a fiction book that introduced children to spirituality. That idea sparked a flame in me, that has turned into a blazing fire, now as I near completion of my first book in a spiritual fantasy series.

I have to say, that from the start, writing about the adventures of my main character, Thom, coming into his spirit healing gift, has been a blast. As I “put the words on the paper,” I felt daily inspiration writing about Thom’s encounters, from a run in with an unscrupulous merchant who wanted to use him, to Thom healing a dying toddler, to just name two. Wave after wave of joy swept over me as I described Thom’s journey as an emerging healer.

Throughout this year, I must admit that I wondered about publishing my book. Three months ago, I signed up for the Celebrate Your Life conference. Unbeknownst to me when I signed up, I learned that one of the sponsors, Hierophant Publishing, was inviting participants to submit a proposal before the end of the year, from which they would offer one person a free contract. For the last month, I’ve worked on my proposal. While it isn’t quite as enjoyable as writing my book, it certainly is key to making this part of my dream a reality. Since I don’t know if I’ll be selected, I am letting go of the outcome, trusting that what happens is all for the highest good.

Returning to the blog title: Lead your dream; embody your vision: Through both the workshop participant’s comment and Hierophant Publishing’s offer, God and my spirit guides invited me to embody my vision in an unexpected way. Rather than just following my dream, I felt called to lead it; in other words, I had to put in time and effort to manifest it.

At the start of this last month of the year, what steps have you taken to embody your vision and lead your dream? Those steps don’t have to be large. They could even be as small as visualizing your dream in a meditation or even creating a Vision Board. As you enjoy spending time with your loved ones, take the time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. So, that come January, you have a vision in mind and a plan to manifest it.

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Tragedies and blessings

Tragedies and blessings – how do you wrap your head, heart, and spirit around them, especially when they happen within a few days of each other?

Three weeks ago, I was preparing to attend a retreat. I had signed up for it without knowing the primary speaker. It didn’t make sense. But my guides, God, and the angels agreed that I should attend. I was looking forward to discovering what had drawn me to it.

Six days later, two days before the retreat, I learned that my niece and nephew’s second son, Bennett, just 6 months old, suddenly died. Bennett was a healthy and happy child. No words can describe the anguish that my niece and nephew are going through, not to mention that of his older brother. How can anyone wrap their heads around such a tragedy?

My husband and I had met Bennett for the first time a few weeks before, and even held him on our laps. What was so striking about him was that when he looked at you, you felt like he was looking into your soul. Watching him being fed by his grandmother (my sister), I believed he would grow into a sensitive, passionate, and even holy man. I looked forward to seeing that happen.

At my niece’s request, the funeral service was just the immediate family. So, I still attended the retreat. I shared about my great nephew’s death. And many came up to me, expressing sorrow, including the retreat leaders, and telling me that they would be praying for Bennett’s family.

During the retreat, through the talks and exercises, I experienced many aha moments about healing and embodying your highest self. They were truly blessings, for which I felt gratitude. Yet, at the same time, images of Bennett’s smiling face would pop into my head as a stark contrast.

So, I return to my original question. How do you wrap your head, heart, and spirit around this? Wasn’t Bennett cheated from being able to embody his highest self? As a spirit healer and someone who talks to the divine daily, you would think that I would have answers. I don’t. Just this morning, I walked by a mother carrying an infant. I imagine my niece doing the same, and feeling a stab to her heart.

While I don’t have answers, I do have some thoughts. First make space for all of the emotions and thoughts that arise, as I am trying to do. Honor any anger, sorrow, confusion, when they come. Even honor any guilt you might have about having a good day. Next, reach out to loved ones to share those emotions. Even scream and yell at God and ask for understanding. And finally, be gentle with yourself, take time away if you can, treat yourself to a sweet (or whatever takes the edge off) if you can’t, and just do your best to get by.

My heart forever goes out to my great nephew Bennett and his family.

Addendum: After publishing this blog, I find myself dissatisfied with my suggestions, even though I do believe in them. What makes this further dissatisfying, much less confusing, is the song that keeps going through my head, Requiem from Dear Evan Hansen. As mentioned elsewhere, I regularly get messages from my guides and angels through music. In this case, what the singers are expressing is so different from what Bennett’s family and my family feels. Is this truly a message? If not, why does it keep popping up? It just doesn’t make sense. What message am I meant to get God, guides, and angels? What healing am I being guided to offer?

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They call me Tavi

One of my favorite fantasy series is “The Codex Alera” by Jim Butcher. The main character, Tavi, faces numerous challenges as he discovers his identity. One reason I like this series is that when Tavi encounters a situation that scares him sh**less, he proceeds anyway because he knows it’s for the good of all.  As he prepares to face another challenge, his partner tells Tavi, “Fear is the enemy. Respect it. But do not let it conquer you before the fight has begun” (Butcher, 2008, p. 334).

I resonated with this advice, and wrote about my own approach to it in my last blog, “Who is driving the bus?” Over the last few weeks, while traveling, further insights arose. The first is about shifting my direction. The second is about my call to serve.

In interacting with my Mindset Makeover group, one of my team used the word shift to describe the changes she is making. The word jumped out at me powerfully. For many years, I’ve worked to change some aspect of myself to increase my self-esteem. On hearing the term shift, I realized that I experienced that word as a gentle direction adjustment rather than an about face, which is how I have viewed change. Shift reflected that I was already on the right path and mostly aligned. So, it felt easier to implement.

During my recent travels, I found myself repeatedly applying this metaphor. For example, when I heard about many flight cancellations and anticipated having difficult conversations with family, I was able to shift my attention from the fear that arose to my intuition and let go. Time and again, as small or large fears surfaced, I applied this approach. It felt so right, even if there were times that the outcomes associated with my fears weren’t as perfect as I hoped.

The second realization was about service. Through the Mindset workshop, I realized that in my studies over the last year, I erroneously thought I had to learn more before really being of service. Embracing the shift metaphor enabled me to see and respond to opportunities to serve in the most simple ways.

Connecting and serving

One of the most profound opportunities was with my niece, Maureen. Maureen has Down syndrome, at a level that is considered profound. As a result, she has limited ways to communicate. For the last 25+ years that I’ve traveled to visit my husband’s family, including Maureen and her parents, while I have shown her love, given her hugs, and so on, I must admit that felt a little stiff. I was fearful of doing the wrong thing with her.  Both the shift metaphor and the reminder that the simplest way to serve is to love, enabled me to relax and trust my intuition. So, for this visit, I played with Maureen, held her hand, helped her move around her home, and just sat with her so her parents could attend to other things. It was delightful. Maureen was all smiles. It was such a treasured experience.

As you travel your own road to wholeness and service, perhaps the shift metaphor would be useful to you, and enable you to open up to opportunities that you might not have considered before.

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Butcher, J. (2008). Princeps’ Fury. London: Penguin Books, Ltd.

Who is driving your bus?

I’ve just finished the Mindset Makeover course. As mentioned in an earlier blog, the focus of this workshop was to identify and release one obstacle keeping you from doing what you want to achieve. My block was trusting my intuition.

Through the workshop, I discovered that my obstacle’s goal was to keep me safe. While that was important as a child, it only limited me as an adult. The overwhelming feeling associated with this obstacle was fear. As a result of the workshop, two realizations emerged.

The first was understanding that my obstacle was tied to spiritual perfectionism. This unconscious goal constantly reminded me that I was not ready to be a healer, because I didn’t have enough training. This built in me the desire to attend as much training as possible so that I would be “spiritually perfect.”

Who is driving your bus?

This awareness made me also realize that my fear of getting hurt or doing it right might not completely go away. So, I couldn’t just wait until it was gone before doing what I felt called to do. In other words, I could no longer allow my fear to drive my bus.

As part of my Certified Angel Guide training, I was asked to offer healing to another. Even though I felt fear, I knew I needed to finally offer it. Now, I had previously printed out the instructions for doing so to ensure that I “did it right.” But it was difficult to offer while attempting to read the instructions at the same time. At some point, I realized that I hadn’t followed the them exactly, and that’s when my intuition nudged my fear out of the driver’s seat and informed me that it didn’t matter because my intention was clear. Further along in the healing, my intuition called me to make further changes in how I did the healing. It felt right and very freeing. The next steps are for me to continue practicing this change of drivers.

I wonder if you have had experiences where you felt called to do something but hesitated or didn’t proceed because fear was driving your bus. I’d invite you to build up your trust in your intuition, so, if fear does arise and start driving your bus, you can ask your intuition to take over the driving.

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Two Gifts

I recently received two gifts from the divine.

The first happened last week. I found myself thinking about my connection to my divine teachers, but not feeling their love. I wished I could feel it. Immediately, they reminded me of my meditation video about connecting with them, and suggested that I take that to the next level with love.

So, I brought to mind what I feel when my husband looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes and ones that glow with love. As I I feel that love in my heart and gut, I apply it to my divine teachers. Coming from a childhood where I was mostly taught to fear God, feeling this love is such a gift. So, I’d invite you to try this.

The second occurred yesterday while listening to Radleigh Valentine, a spiritual teacher who spoke at a workshop I’m attending. He said that when he faces challenges, he relies on his determination not to be defeated and his faith. His faith is based on knowing that his divine guides support him, as evidenced by the signs and synchronicities that he’s previously received from them. On hearing that, I felt like Saint Paul, from Christian scriptures, when he was knocked off his horse.

In college, my faith underwent an incredible transformation to one that became personal and joyous, and based on a loving God. After leaving my Catholic faith because some of its beliefs no longer resonated, I basically forgot about faith. Radleigh’s words rekindled an old flame. Like him, I have had signs and messages from my divine teachers. Approaching faith like Radleigh brought me full circle, back to something so precious, and one that I can tap into when I face challenges.  This morning, in fact, during meditation, Archangel Sandalphon gave me a wonderful phrase – grounded in faith – that helps me feel grounded, knowing that due to faith, my divine teachers are right beside me enabling me to release my worries.

If your beliefs have undergone changes, but you feel a little uncertain about your new direction, reimagine your faith to one based on the support and signs you’ve already received from God and your divine help.

Two gifts for me; and I hope two gifts for you too.

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Transforming mental blocks

This week I attended an online workshop called “The Mindset Detox” given by Liz Dawn, of Celebrate Your Life, and Emily Manning. It centered on addressing one mindset block, that is a part of you that protected or served you in the past, but no longer does. I focused on my self-doubt of my healing gifts. I want to share two exercises that had a profound impact.

Transforming blocks

The first was about inquiry into the block. To start, we were asked to connect with our core self, that I call our divine self. This is the grounded and wise self that’s connected to the divine. Then, we were asked to imagine that that block had a physical form and is sitting or standing next to you. Next, we were asked to have a conversation, asking him what was going on in order to understand its role in my life. The goal was not to eliminate this part but uncover the gift it provided (that is how it protected), and ultimately tease out how it could serve today and thus integrate into my core self. As a result of the exercise, I realized that my self-doubt was simply trying to keep me safe, thus initiating for me a process of transformation.

The other exercise was focused on thoughts, feelings, and actions. We were asked to write the thoughts that arise from the block, the resultant feelings, and the associated actions taken. Then, we were asked to write their counter-parts, the thoughts, feelings, and actions coming out of this transformed “block” that would now serve. Finally, we were asked to visualize ourselves in a situation where this block might previously have been triggered, but, as a result of its transformation, results in a positive experience. Liz went on to explain that doing this exercise for at least 21-days creates new neural pathways in the brain to support this change. She also explained that it may also occur subtly, whereupon one day you might notice that you are responding differently.

The workshop was an amazing experience and I am so grateful to Liz and Emily for offering it. At the end, they mentioned that they are offering a more intensive 28-day workshop, called “The Mindset Makeover,” starting May 15. If you are interested, here’s a link to the Celebrate Your Life website that provides more details: The Mindset Makeover.

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Can’t see the forest for the trees

You can’t see the forest for the trees.

Have you ever felt so focused on project details or tasks that you forgot about the higher-level intent for them? In 1546, John Heywood documented the metaphor, “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” That metaphor jumped out at me this morning as a result of messages I received from my spirit guides and angels.

As I’ve written before, I both am a spirit healer and becoming one. In the last few months, I’ve been taking a course on becoming an angel guide and a seminar on developing my spiritual gifts. But one thing I’d forgotten over those months is that I’ve been mostly functioning at the detail level and had not taken much time to step back from the tasks and view things from a higher perspective.

For the last twenty-some years, working in the documentation department of software companies, the software’s complexity required that I carefully document the details. However, when I became a manager, I was also responsible for translating company strategies so that writers could apply them to their daily work. So, I had to view my work from both the detail level and the higher level. By the end of my time with the company, I was able to balance them.

Now, as most of my time is dedicated to my calling, I was reminded today that I was imbalanced again. I was focusing on the details, in this case, the courses and my writing. The message to me was to step back to a higher view (the forest view from the metaphor), and simply attend to being connected to the divine realm, really feeling it moment by moment. That requires that I trust that my guides and angels let me know when the details need attending.

Looking at your own life, are you balanced between the details and a higher view? This could be about your work, but also your relationships, your finances, and even your own calling. Sometimes, taking the time to step back from the details and reflect gives you a chance to determine if your current direction and choices are in line with how you want to live.

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Finding a new beat

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Has a song ever come on the radio, on your playlist, over the speakers in a mall, and you find your body starting to move to the song’s beat at its own accord? It’s such a freeing and wonderful feeling to just let your body move as it wants.

For many, we develop a certain beat or rhythm to our lives, like the time we get up in the morning, when we eat, and what we do during the day. Now that it’s about a week past my last day at my job after my layoff, I find myself in need of a new beat. Over the last years, I developed a rhythm to my days, with my weekdays molded around my work, start and stop times, and recurring department meetings. My weekends were organized around down time, handling household tasks, and perhaps seeing friends.

What happens when there’s a significant life change, whether from being laid off, moving to a new town, experiencing the death of a loved one, and even the pandemic? These changes can be destabilizing and uncomfortable.  In response, some might want to rush to create a new rhythm to avoid the discomfort. I’ve been there myself.

This time, for me, I want to let my spirit find the new rhythm naturally. Aware of the tasks ahead of me, my goals, and even my dreams, I’m trying to stay in the present, and trust my guides and God that a new beat or rhythm will emerge; one that resonates with my spirit and allows it to thrive.

So, that means being uncomfortable. As mentioned in other blogs, for so long I relied solely on my mind. So, the challenge to me and to you, if you are facing a disruption, is to live with the discomfort and let the new rhythm evolve naturally.

Like, Gloria Estefan sang many years ago, “the rhythm is gonna get you.”

Addendum: I woke up in the middle of the night following my posting this blog and Calum Scott’s song, ”Rhythm Inside, ” was going through my head. While the song is about finding love, for me, it’s also about letting your new rhythm arise, and moving to that rhythm as you live and love. Ironically, last night before I went to sleep I prayed to my visit my guides wanting to visit with them while I slept. This is one thing that emerged.

There’s something about traveling on a train

An odd title for my blog, but it struck me as a good metaphor for life as I watched a Christmas movie set on a train. Through the trip, passengers experienced joy and despair, frustration and hope, connection and disconnection. As is typical in these movies something unexpected happens that throws plans awry, in this case a storm which literally stopped the train on the tracks. At the end of the movie, one character muses that the train trip is not just about the destination but the journey as well.

Looking back over my life, in my journey to be a healer of the spirit, I have been reminded that it is a both/and experience. I am both a student learning what a healer of the spirit is, and a teacher, living as a healer in my interactions, blog writings, and more. Coming to this understanding took time. As a trained engineer, for a good part of my life I focused on the destination and wanted to get there as quickly as possible. By narrowly focusing on the destination, though, I was missing out on living the present and experiencing all it has to offer.

Over the last two years, the pandemic became an opportunity to slow down and experience each moment. Like the train passengers, the moments included frustration, resentment, and depression but also excitement, joy, and passion. Likewise, I’ve had my own “storms that stopped me in my tracks,” as it were, most notably being laid off and having a stroke. Gratefully, I was able to use them as moments to reassess how I was living. Was I putting my energy to what was most important and meaningful?

What has your journey been like over these last years? Have you been only focused on the destination? Have you been able to turn moments of disruption into opportunities to reassess your goal and even your dreams? Likely some of the disruption might have been caused by pain, hurt, and loss. It’s important that you honor those feelings. I do believe, though, that from them can come new perspectives that pave the way to unexpected opportunities.

As you travel your train of life, may you know that you are not alone, as others travel with you, even as they travel on their own.

Let the moment take the lead

It’s been almost a month since my last post. Since then, I’ve had various tests to understand the impact of my small stroke. It’s been stressful, as each test approached and the results came in. The news seems promising. I’m grateful for how things are turning out, as I know others whose lives have been drastically changed after their stroke.

A repeated message I’ve received from my guides through this time has been to let it all go. Let go of worries about my health, about advancing my calling as a healer of the spirit, and about my job. This letting it all go message was and is calling me to be fully present in each moment of each day.

For most of my life, as a trauma survivor, I lived alert to possible future dangers in order to avoid them. Many years of therapy and spiritual work have brought much healing. These last two months though have challenged me to go to the next level of being fully present by letting the moment take the lead.

Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

So, what does that look like? It means not planning my activities or goals for the day in any kind of rigid way. It means sensing into each moment for what I am drawn to do or not do. Is the moment leading me to step away from my computer and take a walk? Is the moment leading me to do nothing, literally just sitting quietly? Is the moment leading me to write a blog post? As you can tell, that hasn’t happened often recently. Ultimately, it’s about trusting God, my guides, and in truth, my deepest self (a.k.a my divine self) and letting life unfold as it will.

It’s not always easy to let it all go and trust. However, I’ve noticed in the weeks that I’ve let the moment take the lead, that I am able to relax more, and be more present to others, myself, and life.