The last two months have been challenging. I was laid off from my job in mid-May. Although, it’s not effective until the end of the year. Then, in early June, I passed out twice at a family event and only learned a few weeks ago that it was a small stroke. Needless to say I felt varied emotions over these few months. About my job, I felt resentment, anger, and sadness. Add on to that feelings of fear and confusion associated with the stroke.
For the most part, I have been wonderfully supported and loved during this time. My family and friends have helped in ways too numerous to list, for which I am very grateful. My husband is handling household chores and errands that we used to share, not to mention him having to cope with his own emotions around my stroke. My spirit guides and God have been less helpful than I would have liked. I looked to them for understanding, but I haven’t gotten a lot of details. Their continual message of trust has left me feeling a bit alone at times and admittedly resentful.
All of this has resulted in my need to step back and rest, even around my healer of the spirit calling. It’s not always easy. Since I launched this site back in January, I felt on a roll with writing, attending workshops, and taking risks as a healer of the spirit. So, I’ve had to set some things on the back burner as I move through this time.
With my health still uncertain, I’m essentially being forced to really appreciate each moment and each day, without planning for the future. That’s a good thing. And daily, I’m still being reminded to trust God, my doctors, Michael, friends, and just let go.
So, I’m left with a number of unknowns and learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, especially as I have further medical tests scheduled about my health situation.
Perhaps some of you have been in a similar situation with your career, relationships, or even health. To use the twelve step phrase, it’s truly about embracing one day at a time.