You would think that as a healer of the spirit, and dedicated to being of service, that I would have no difficulties letting someone take care of me. Wrong. I feel guilt. Even after years of therapy, it’s not always easy. My guilt comes from a lingering belief that I have to take care of myself and that I have no right to ask others for help because it would inconvenience them.
Recently, I was having radiation treatment on my left hand to lessen the impact of an inherited condition. I was told to avoid hot water for a month. Well, in my family, my husband is the primary cook and I clean the dishes. It’s a bit hard to wash stubborn pots with warm water with one hand. When I told my husband about my restriction, he was fully onboard with washing the dishes and cooking.
For the first few days of the treatment, it was challenging for me to see him doing both. You might wonder why I didn’t take over the cooking. Well, the truth is that I’m not the best cook.
So, what did I do? First, I reminded myself that being in a relationship means letting your spouse care for you when you can’t. I have certainly done that for Michael. So, that helped lessen my guilt. More practically, I realized that there were other things I could do, like putting away the dishes, ironing his clothes, paying our bills, and doing other chores that we normally shared.
Still, I do wonder how I would feel if I couldn’t take on any chores for a time and Michael had to do everything. That could be challenging. One day, I believe I will more fully embrace the fact that love means being able to let others care for you when you can’t do so yourself.