A download changed everything.

That’s an odd thing for me to write. After working twenty-six years in the software industry, I used to cringe a little when someone spoke about receiving a “download” from spirit. Yet it’s the best word to describe the insight I received.

For much of my earlier life, I never quite felt I belonged. I was quieter and more reflective than most of my family. I was also a sensitive, clumsy, gay boy growing up in a straight world. There were moments of connection, like singing in my college chapel choir, but they were only glimpses of what I longed for.

Years later, I realized my path was leading somewhere different. Leaving the Paulists to pursue a committed relationship was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Although I knew it was the right one, I didn’t recognize until recently that part of me was still trying to hold onto that identity and that family. I continued searching for that same sense of belonging through spiritual workshops and communities, grateful for the friendships I found, yet sensing something was still missing.

Then came the download.

The message was simple: perhaps the belonging I have been searching for is the belonging I experienced before incarnating, when I was part of the great oneness of God and fully connected with all that is. It was an experience without limitations. Human life, by its very nature, has limitations.

What if the longing so many of us carry isn’t because something is wrong with us? What if it is a faint memory of the complete belonging we once knew?

The insight continued. That divine belonging was never lost. It remains part of who I am, and one of my tasks in this life is to remember it and gently remind others. That’s really what Remember Your Divine You has always meant to me.

At the same time, I felt another invitation: appreciate the belonging available here on Earth. Human relationships may never mirror the complete unity of the divine realm, but they offer something equally precious. We not only share the same divine essence, we also share the joys, struggles, disappointments, and blessings of being human.

I’ve begun wondering whether I’ve sometimes held back from fully giving or receiving love because I unconsciously expected human relationships to satisfy a longing they were never meant to fulfill. That’s something I’ll continue reflecting on.

What do you think? Have you ever felt that you didn’t quite fit in? Perhaps the belonging you’ve been searching for isn’t something you need to find. Perhaps it’s something you’ve always carried within you. And then bring that awareness to the relationships you have today.

Full disclosure: I used ChatGPT to edit and condense this blog post. The experiences, insights, and message are my own, but it helped me express them more concisely.

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