Tag: self-care

From Imposter to Intuitive

JoeLeave a comment

For spiritual teachers, the imposter syndrome centers on the belief that she or he doesn’t know enough to be a teacher and the fear that someone will find out. I admit that I’ve struggled with that.

For much of my early life, I relied on logic. I believed there were answers for everything, and each question had only one answer. When I went to the seminary and began studying the scriptures, I faced a dilemma. After reading one theologian’s interpretation of a Biblical passage, I concluded he was correct until I read another’s. Who was right? Which one was lying?

Fast-forward 12 years. After leaving the priesthood, I continued my search for the truth about God, myself, and life. Without realizing it, I continued searching for the one spiritual teacher with all the answers. When I found one with whom I resonated, I became excited. Here was someone who had similar experiences. Providentially, that lasted until I heard a teaching that didn’t match my beliefs. I must admit that I felt a little betrayed. That was a good thing. The last thing I needed was to rely on one person.

Years passed, and I continued seeking out teachers, eventually learning that one person doesn’t have all the answers and to rely on what resonated with me. But I was still driven to learn. Last year, I overextended myself, attending so many workshops and seminars that some conflicted. In one of them, a teacher brought up the imposter syndrome. I realized my drive was based on that syndrome and my underlying fear. Furthermore, my divine advisors challenged me to believe in myself.

While I’ll continue to sign up for workshops that interest me, a key resolution this year is to release my lingering fear of not being good enough, trusting that I have something unique to offer. What about you? Have you struggled with the imposter syndrome? Are you signing up for endless workshops, leaving you little free time? Consider reflecting on whether you do so because you don’t believe you know or are good enough. Through our intuition and divine soul, we have access to knowledge and wisdom. It’s up to us to listen and discover a path unique to our experience that serves the highest good.

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Is arrogance the shadow side of low self esteem?

JoeLeave a comment

This might seem a ridiculous question. Arrogant people strut like they own the world, treating everyone as their servants or worse. Whereas, those who struggle with low self esteem often hide from the world, feeling like they have no value. So how could the answer to my question be, yes? Let me share what led to this question.

Two nights ago, I fell into the same dream repeatedly. That, in and of itself, told me it was important. The dream was a warning of sorts to be wary of becoming arrogant. Most who know me would conclude it wasn’t about me.

When I finally arose to start the day, I spent some time in meditation to reflect on it. As I did, I recalled the numerous occasions, while in the early stages of writing my novel, when my divine advisors told me it would be a great success and lead to other opportunities as a spirit healer. With that was the reminder to ground myself in gratitude and true humility.

During my meditation, I also thought about people who I would characterize as arrogant. A few political leaders came to mind. Some common characteristics came to mind, loud, self serving, and ultimately bullies. I believe that beneath their exterior lies low self esteem. But rather than venturing into their pain and insecurities, which takes courage, they choose to take their pain and fear out on others. So, indeed one could be the shadow of the other.

One word of caution, to those reading this. If you are still struggling to recognize your own innate value and beauty, this message is not for you. I’m reminded of something my first spiritual director, Dustin, told me when I was a novice in religious life. At that time, my self esteem was almost non-existent. I looked to others to form my identity and using the book, The Imitation of Christ, as a guide. The book is focused on self abnegation. Providentially, Dustin was also a licensed therapist and directed me to put down the book. It was a graced moment.

Returning to the dream, I knew it was a gentle reminder, as I prepare to send my first novel off to the publisher next month. Enough for now. I’m on vacation and I felt drawn to post this. Blessings to all of you as you celebrate your beauty.

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