The Probe That Changed Everything

Sometimes, the danger you sense isn’t imagined—it’s real.
Here’s a glimpse into Chapter 11 of Shadows and Light: Journeys of a Spirit Healer, where Thom’s strange healing gift draws the attention of someone with dark intentions.

This post isn’t one of my usual blogs. Still, like them, the excerpt explores the themes of life, God, and purpose, as revealed in the journey of Thom Macirdan. Shadows and Light is the first in a five-book Journeys of a Spirit Healer fantasy series.

Thom was working on a vase when he felt Lord Samiltun’s loathsome energy. It wasn’t long before he heard the carriage. “Da,” he called out. “I think we’ve got a customer.” He didn’t want to tell him it was Lord Samiltun because he didn’t think his father would understand how he knew.

Shortly after, footsteps crunched on the gravel path leading to the pottery. And, before anyone could stand, Lord Samiltun walked into the work area.

“Oh, Lord Samiltun,” his Da said. “I was about to take your sample bowl out of the kiln. Redik, would you help me?”

Lord Samiltun grunted.

Thom felt his presence behind him.

“And what are you working on, lad?” Lord Samiltun asked.

“Um,” Thom gulped. “A bud vase.” This time, the probing felt stronger and touched various parts of his body, like his Mam would do when she examined a patient.

“That’s an unusual shape,” Lord Samiltun remarked, placing his hand on Thom’s shoulder.

Like before, Thom pushed back, but he didn’t think it was as successful. “Yes,” he replied. “The customer wanted the mouth of the vase curved to make the flower more visible.”

“What are those blue stones for?” he asked, pointing to the left of Thom’s wheel.

By now, Thom was gritting his teeth and shivering. He didn’t like the lord touching him, and his stomach started yelling at him. “One of Da’s specialties is adding decorative stones to the clay before firing it.”

“And what about the pink in the dish there?” he asked, pointing.

Why can’t he leave me alone, Thom thought, feeling his breath quicken. “Sometimes, we add a splash of color for accents,” he told him, shrugging his shoulders, hoping that the lord would remove his hand. But to no avail.

“Interesting,” Lord Samiltun commented, shifting his hand slightly to see if he could read the boy better.

In desperation, Thom pretended he needed a tool on a bench nearby and stood up, forcing the lord to remove his hand. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“No,” Lord Samiltun responded. “It looks like it will be a nice piece.” He still couldn’t determine the nature of the boy’s gift or strength from his examination. If his gift was substantial, which he thought it was, he’d be a great asset. As young as he was, he was undoubtedly untrained. That would make controlling him easier. Now, he needed to make him and his father more amenable.

“Lord Samiltun,” Da called out. “Your sample piece is ready to evaluate.”

Lord Samiltun stepped away from Thom and went to the other side of the work area to a table where his Da had placed a blue bowl.

Thom resumed his work on the vase, feeling his breath ease. Focusing on smoothing the curve at its mouth, he realized he felt warmer. That’s weird. The pottery wasn’t any hotter than usual. While he sipped a cup of water nearby, he relished Lord Samiltun’s praise for his craftsmanship. Maybe he could earn money by making a few pieces for him.

 Leaning back and stretching, Thom overheard his Da say, “You’re asking me to add more of our clay mixture 4 to your clay? Easily done. The new mix should be ready in ten days. Is that agreeable?”

“Yes,” Lord Samiltun replied. “I must say, I’m very impressed with young Thom’s work. Would you consider apprenticing him to me a few days a week? I could set up a little pottery behind my home. I could even teach him merchanting. Having a combination of merchant and potter skills would enable him to set up his own shop one day.”

Thom looked back when his Da didn’t respond.

I think he needs a bit more encouragement, Lord Samiltun thought.

Thom noticed the lord’s hand twitch a little.

His Da finally replied, “Maybe. Learning about merchanting would be good. I’ll need to speak to my wife.”

“Of course,” Lord Samiltun responded, sneering inwardly.

After the lord left, Redik said, “Da, didn’t you say you didn’t like the man the last time he was here? Are you really considering apprenticing Thom to him?”

“I might have misjudged him,” his Da replied. “He was very nice this time.”

When Lord Samiltun returned to the pottery to see the new sample, his primary goal was the boy. Stepping into the work area, he sent more energy toward Thom and his father to make them more receptive to the apprenticeship.

Thom tried to listen while his Da showed the bowl to the lord. Wouldn’t it be exciting if he had his own pottery? He didn’t even consider how odd it would be for a boy his age.

“This is perfect,” Lord Samiltun exclaimed. “You’re very talented, Mr. Macirdan. Please proceed with making my dishware. Since you’re an honest man, here’s half the agreed cost.”

“That’s very generous, sir,” his Da responded. “The standard down payment is 25%.”

“Yes, I know. However, I’m impressed with your work and believe it merits it.”

Looking around the work area, Lord Samiltun spied the vase Thom had completed on a shelf nearby. “Oh, I see Thom finished his vase.”

Thom had turned around to face Lord Samiltun and his father.

“The blue complements the vase’s brown glazing. And the pink splash makes it something special,” Lord Samiltun said to Thom. “You are quite talented.”

“Thank you, sir,” Thom replied, turning red.

The boy’s pottery skills could be beneficial to him as bribes, Samiltun determined. Deciding to probe him once more, he discovered there wasn’t any resistance.

Sitting at his pottery wheel, Thom felt something pop inside himself.

“Mr. Macirdan,” Lord Samiltun said, “Have you considered my proposal?”

“Yes,” his Da replied. “We’re seriously considering it. Thom does assist my wife, Winni, with treating her patients. Let me talk with her again to see if our younger daughter can take his place.”

“I understand. Will you be able to show me some completed dishware in two weeks? Of course, I don’t expect all of it to be done by then.”

“Yes, we’ll have pieces to show you,” Da replied.

Outside the pottery, Rin had been eavesdropping on the conversation. He sensed Samiltun’s energy toward Thom and his father and the energetic probe. Rin knew the time was approaching for him to take Thom away.

After Lord Samiltun left, Rin returned to his shop to consider the situation. Samiltun’s last probe significantly affected Thom, about which Samiltun was unaware. First, it fully activated Thom’s healing gift. Second, it triggered a much stronger gift. One that Rin couldn’t identify.  He now knew why his spirit guides told him to wait before taking Thom away. It was now time for him to implement his plan.

Rin had to hide the strength of Thom’s gifts from Samiltun when he returned to protect Thom. But before that, he needed to set the stage for their departure. He’d return in two days to suggest to Thom’s parents that he get special training. He’d already given his landlord notice about closing his shop. In ten days, he’d start camping near the pottery to ensure he was nearby when Samiltun came by again.

I hope this moment of Thom’s journey stirred something in you. If you’re curious how he got there, where his path leads, and how his gift unfolds, you can find Shadows and Light: Journeys of a Spirit Healer on Amazon: https://a.co/d/7yRDnAj

Book 2, Where the Heart Leads, continues Thom’s story—his developing spirit healer gift and how he uses it for the good of all. It’s coming later this year.


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What Grows from Broken Plans

Sometimes disruption is the doorway to divine grace.

In my last blog, I shared a message from my divine advisors about adventures and opportunities. A few hours later, something unexpected happened that changed my unwritten plans: my husband fell and broke his arm. I’m not suggesting that the accident was divinely driven. But what unfolded afterward certainly was.

With his arm immobilized, I stepped into the role of caretaker: managing the household and supporting him. I take this on out of my deep love for him. Still, it was an unplanned interruption.

Two things are important to know. First, I know my calling as a spirit healer is expanding. The messages have been clear. Second, I’ve been told the way it will unfold will be completely unexpected. The engineer in me inevitably keeps trying to figure it out. For example, I wondered if a traditional publisher might contact me about releasing the next book in my spiritual fantasy series, now titled Where the Heart Leads: Journeys of a Spirit Healer.

Up until the accident, I was chugging along at a steady pace with book 2. With my changed responsibilities, I was thrust into a new opportunity: one that forced me to slow down. As my days became more fluid, it opened space in my life for my divine advisors to ‘breathe’ and do their thing. Three nights ago, the first unexpected blessing arrived. I’ll share more about that at another time.

What about you? Is your life so carefully planned out that the unexpected feels like a setback? Are your days so organized that you’re blind to opportunities (even challenging ones) that might contain quiet blessings that support your calling?

Take a moment to reflect. Then offer gratitude. That’s what I do each morning, as something beautiful and holy grows from broken plans.


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Attend

Busy and full days in 2025. I’m halfway through the first edit of book 2 of my spiritual fantasy series, tentatively titled ‘Revelations and Reckonings: Journey of a Spirit Healer. I received a few messages over the last month from my divine advisors that I wanted to share: Attend; Recognize your power but release control; and Feel and share the light.

Share the Light

Attend

Attend to your body: Does your body need special care right now? More rest? Are you working too hard?

Attend to your spirit: Is your psyche stretched to the limit with all that’s happening today. Is constant and chaotic news dragging you down, or causing you to be angry with others. Take time to reconnect to your divine self and feel the love and support of your guardian angel, guides, and God.

Recognize your power but release control

In the face of actions by the current U.S. administration, it’s easy to feel powerless. But we are not. We carry innate power not only as citizens, but by virtue of enfleshing the divine: our soul. Really take that in. Connect with the fullness of who you are, and feel the strength of all divine beings.

With that power comes the invitation to your part, whatever you identify that to be. But it also comes with a reminder to release control of the outcome. I know that’s difficult to do. And that leads me to the last message.

Feel and share the Light

Each day, experience the light that is your divine essence. A friend shared a practice that might help: while walking outside on a sunny day, imagine you have wings extended outward. Feel the light and warmth falling on them being absorbed into the depth of your being, strengthening you and helping you live your truest self. Then, throughout the day, radiate that light to all in our country and world. A practice I’ve added is to find childhood pictures of those currently in leadership. I imagine them to be hurting, scared children, desperately yearning for love and acceptance. By sending them light and love, my hope is that these children, now inner children inside the adult, experience a change and remember the best selves they are called to be.

Attend; Recognize your power but release control; Feel and share the light

Those are the messages I received. I radiate light and love to you as you bring your true self forward into the world.


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Living Your Best Self

Throughout much of my life, I’ve strived to connect with God, angels, and spirit guides in pursuit of living my best self. Sometimes it hasn’t been easy. Perhaps you’ve done the same, seeking their help but heard nothing back and have begun to wonder whether these beings genuinely hear. Or maybe you believe they do, but their guidance is spotty, unclear, or just plain confusing. I certainly have felt that. I can’t count the number of times I’ve called out to them, saying, “If you’re trying to send me a message, you need to send it another way because I’m not getting it.”

Nevertheless, I believe these divine beings are present at every moment and ready to give love, support, and guidance if we ask and listen. Asking is usually easy. Sometimes, it’s the listening that’s difficult. Yet, I don’t believe it’s because we’re not trying. I think it’s simply because we have a lot going on: work, family, household responsibilities, errands to run, and more. All demand our attention throughout the day.

To get around that, I firmly believe such beings employ any means to reach us. Certainly, they try through prayer and meditation, but also everyday things: books, posters, movies, songs, dreams, art, overheard comments or strangers, the sudden appearance of objects, animals, and even social media. If you grew up like me in a particular religious tradition, some may even seem ridiculous, if not sacrilegious. After all, shouldn’t we just rely on holy books, sacred writings, and such? I would challenge any implied belief that revelation only happened in the past.

Regardless of the means, I have felt my divine advisors’ presence, as I call them. Their impact has been most profound, for which I am deeply grateful. Their guidance and support enabled me to tap into my highest self and embrace my calling as a spirit healer.

Three years ago, after traveling along my long and winding path of life–through religious life and priesthood, my years of study in counseling psychology, numerous spiritual workshops and courses, and even 26 years in the computer industry–my divine advisors asked me to give back. I created my website, joemcmonaglehsp.com, and posted monthly blogs about living your highest self. A few weeks ago, however, they prodded me to go further: serve as an additional means through which their messages can be conveyed through what I have termed “life-moment readings.” Go to Life-moment Readings under the Offerings menu to learn more about them.

As you travel your path committed to living your best self, I urge you to open yourself to receiving messages in the most unexpected ways. Believe me, these folks are playful and have a sense of humor. I wrote about that in my Divine Humor blog.


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Strengthening our Connection

The eve of the day on which many celebrate the birth of God as human, a bringer of light.
The seventh day of Hanukkah, representing the seventh day that the temple lantern remained burning.
The third day following the Winter Solstice, marking the coming of more daylight.

These events call out our connection to the divine. I believe we already have that innately. For like Jesus, we are incarnated essences of the divine, and bearers of that same light.

I’ve been reading James Redfield’s Celestine Prophecy series again. Its characters explore their connection to source, including remembering their life’s purpose, and committing to resolving past hurts that limit their ability to do so. Through their discussions, they identify coincidences and signs from the divine that can support that.

I love reading these types of books, because they resonate with my own journey. In my case, fear has been a limiter. This has surfaced in such ways as fear of trying something new or getting it wrong. To help me heal and move past this, I regularly seek guidance from the divine.

This morning, at 4:30 am, I awoke believing that I had just received such guidance. Now, my understanding is that between the hours of 3 and 5 am, we are especially sensitivity to divine messages. Mine was an invitation to strengthen my connection. That message was preceded, over the last month, by four signs, which alluded to it. The first was the suggestion to read the Redfield series again. The second was an oracle card that acknowledged that although my path has been a meandering one, it serves my life purpose. The last two are signs that some of you might not believe: a flickering overhead kitchen light (one of four) caused by a loose wire, and an occasionally unresponsive wireless mouse, neither of which are resolved yet. This message didn’t point out what I wasn’t doing wrong, but communicated encouragement and hope.

At this time of year, when we light candles or trees, and celebrate connections, what messages or signs have you received? I truly believe that you are provided them. If you haven’t noted any, no worries. You’ll receive more.  Just keep your eyes, ears, and hearts open, and ask your higher power or God to help you recognize them.

May the blessings of this season warm you heart, and make you glow with divine light.

p.s. After I wrote this but before I posted it, I went for a walk. While listening to music, a commercial came on that essentially said that despite the hardships and challenges we face, we’ve got this.


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What is God?

Notice: This blog is about three-times my usual length.

One of my favorite vacations is visiting Hawaii. The reason goes back to when I was working in the software industry. Hawaii, or any place with a beach, represents a location where I can unplug from all schedules and activities. I see myself simply sitting on the beach, with my toes buried in the sand, listening to the waves crash against the shore, reading a book, and occasionally glancing up to see other vacationers reading, sunbathing, walking their dogs, or frolicking in the water.

For the last couple of months, I’ve found myself thinking about energy, God, and us. Through science classes, we’ve learned that all matter is made of energy. So, if I were sitting on the beach now, that would mean that the sand, the water, the sun, my book, the dogs, me, and you, are all matter. The more solid we appear, the slower our energy vibrates.

But what does that mean from a spiritual perspective? Well, in workshops that I’ve attended or books that I’ve read, that covered this topic, the presenter encouraged us to raise our vibration to connect with the divine, like angels, as Kyle Gray (#kylegray) teaches, implying that we access the divine on an energetic level. In a recent conference, Dougall Fraser (#yourlifeincolor) talked about the color of our auric energies, how they reflect our struggles and dreams, and essentially how they align for our good and the highest good.

Now, you may have noticed that my website is called “Remember Your Divine You.” That title is based on my belief that humans are essentially small pieces of God’s essence incarnated to earth, that many people call the soul. Might our souls be energy vibrating at an incredibly fast rate?

And now I’m finally getting to my original question, what is God? Many might say that God is love. Our course, I would agree. But, is there something underneath that? I mean, if our soul is energy, then wouldn’t that mean that God is energy too, and vibrating at an incredible rate, perhaps even infinitely fast? Now, if I raised this question with my catechism teacher, when I was a child, I might have been accused of sacrilege, to even speculate that the creator of all is “just” energy. Yet intuition doesn’t think it’s sacrilege.

Bear with me a bit longer. So, if we’re energy and God is energy, then the angels are also energy. Kyle Gray describes God as the heart, and the angels as the heartbeats. For me, that translates to angels being energetic expressions of God, like Archangel Raphael reflecting a healing God, and Archangel Michael reflecting a protecting God, to name two.

At the same conference, where I heard Dougall Fraser speak, two members of my spiritual group heard Sunny Dawn Johnston (#sunnydawnjohnston) explain that angels each have their own unique frequency. I found myself thinking that if angels are energetic expressions of God, with a unique frequency, might not each of us (aka, our souls) as energetic expressions of God, also vibrate with our own unique frequency? If so, does that mean that we exhibit a unique aspect of God, like the angels? And, does this uniqueness form the basis for our particular purpose or calling in life? I think so.

I know. This is a lot of speculation. I don’t know anything with certainty. All of this is based on my experiences, studies, intuition, and basically my connection to God, angels, and spirit guides.

I’m coming to the end. I promise. With all of this speculation, I also find myself channeling my preaching teacher in the seminary. “What,” he might ask me, “is a practical application of all of this for your readers’ everyday lives?” Well, first, as we await the results of the mid-term elections, most of us have likely seen the continuing division within our country, not to mention our world. And I’m not just thinking about division between people but essentially the division between us and the planet (aka global warming).

My speculation challenges us to remember that at our soul level we are all of the same essence. This further challenges us to create a connection with those with whom we differ, in other words, build bridges. I must admit that I find this especially difficult when faced with people who inflict harm and even death on others, whether it’s through greed, misuse of power, violence, and so on. While I believe that all of that harmful behavior comes from the hurt, fear, and anger of traumas that these folks have experienced, it’s still hard to see their divine essence that seems hidden underneath. Yet, as a spirit healer, my unique vibration in this life is to somehow shine light on the shadows created by that trauma to enable them to remember who they are, and thus shine their own light.

As we discover our unique vibration, when we look out to people, animals, the earth, and yes, even the entire universe, may we eventually and ultimately see the beautiful, colorful, and holy kaleidoscope of energy that we call life.


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