Tag: faith

Signposts to Purpose

JoeLeave a comment

This blog first appeared as a chapter in the collaborative spiritual book, Awaken Your Magic: Real Life Manifestation Journeys, published in early 2024 and available for sale on Amazon.

Note: Unlike my other blog posts, this one is about 1200 words.

“Stop talking!” I mumbled during an online meeting, frustrated it was running past its scheduled end time. Glancing at the microphone icon on the screen, I panicked when I realized it was on. Having worked at this company for twenty years, I realized I remained in my job mainly to pay my bills. It didn’t give me a sense of purpose. I yearned for divine guidance to illuminate the path where I belonged. Have you ever felt trapped in a job like I did?

But let’s backtrack. This job was only one segment on the meandering path I traveled in search of my purpose. Some might have called it chaotic. Reflecting on it, I want to share the five signposts that were turning points and opportunities for change.

Signpost 1: The Stranger

I was pursuing my Master’s degree in engineering when a friend approached me with a request. Host his friend for a few days. The prospect of entertaining a stranger terrified me. I wasn’t someone who took risks. Because I always felt different throughout childhood, I tried to blend into the background. My dislike of sports further isolated me, resulting in bullying and the gradual erosion of my self-esteem. A skewed understanding of God as a judge compounded my struggle. My friend’s request became my first signpost. I would have declined had I not recalled my faith’s instruction to welcome the stranger.

One night, my guest introduced me to the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, which celebrates their faith through song, prayer, and praise in tongues. Intrigued, I attended one of their meetings and witnessed people excited about their faith and convinced of God’s unconditional love. Although their belief didn’t make sense, I yearned for their experience and decided to join.

Over the next nine months, I underwent a renewal. Not only did I begin to feel God’s love, but I also discovered a new form of prayer: chatting with God. I had never thought prayer could be anything but formulaic. With this renewal came a feeling of joy I had never known. If anyone had come by my office during those months, they would have heard me enthusiastically belting out songs by Amy Grant, a Christian singer, and concluded I’d lost my mind. Out of my transformation grew a desire for others to experience the same.

Signpost 2: The Call

With that desire came a call to the priesthood, the next signpost. I felt excited about putting my passion into action as a priest. However, my excitement waned when I began applying to the diocesan seminary. Sitting in the chapel building on campus, I felt my head swirling with doubts. Had I misread the signpost? Sharing my confusion with God, I pleaded, “Could you send someone to me with whom I could talk?”

Minutes later, two friends walked in. My mouth dropped open when they told me they were returning from a vocational retreat sponsored by the Paulist Fathers. God had heard my plea. I felt a spark ignite in my heart when they shared that this community of priests dedicated their lives to helping people find healing, connection, and meaning. The spark became a roaring fire when I discovered its founders emphasized the importance of each person following the guidance of the Holy Spirit wherever it might lead. That aligned with my own belief, fully resonating with me. Without hesitation, I applied, and they accepted me.

Through the ensuing formation years, I experienced tremendous growth. My bond with God strengthened through the study of theology and scripture. Therapy also played a pivotal role as emotional wounds began to heal, which resulted in me acknowledging my identity as a gay man. A bishop ordained me and my classmates at the end of my sixth year, and my purpose seemed clear.

Signpost 3: The Hiccup

I was on vacation from my assignment to my second parish when I experienced a hiccup with my purpose. On the second day, an unexpected desire for an intimate relationship surfaced. Despite my attempts to ignore it, the feeling kept returning, as hiccups often do. This new signpost took the form of two questions:Is my desire so vital I must leave the priesthood? Or can I set it aside and remain a celibate priest? Intuitively, I knew I needed time away to consider them. God sent signs confirming this when I found an apartment and a job in the software industry within two weeks of leaving. This job was similar to the one I mentioned at the beginning of my article.

Unfortunately, those questions led to three more. How could I leave a community I loved and with whom I had made a lifetime commitment? Could I even find someone to date? If I didn’t return, what about my call to serve, which was as strong as ever? Guilt and fear weighed heavily on me. Months into the leave, I met the man to whom I’d give my heart and marry five years later. Having decided not to return to the priesthood, I was back to square one, wondering about my purpose.

Signpost 4: The Search

Thus, the search for my purpose resumed. I considered options like volunteering or working in the non-profit sector. Both felt wrong. At a therapeutic retreat, an offhand remark became the next signpost: You could be a therapist. An online search led me to a degree program with a spiritual emphasis. Not only was the university ten minutes away, but my boss supported a flexible work schedule. I knew God played a role there.

Midway through my final year, while seeing clients as a therapist trainee, a stark realization hit me. My classmates showed a passion for this work I lacked. I realized this was not my path, but I still decided to complete the degree. I must admit that by then, I was frustrated. I’d pursued four professions but had yet to find my life’s purpose. “Come on, God,” I complained. Thirteen more years went by before the next signpost appeared.

Signpost 5: The Pink Slip

Getting laid off was a blow. I felt angry and betrayed. However, unlike me, God and my other divine advisors saw this as an opportunity. Aware I had diligently saved for retirement, a few years away, they suggested I create a new profession. My response: “Are you crazy? You want me to make something up?” Their persistent encouragement, almost bordering on harassment, prompted me to ask how, albeit reluctantly. They advised me to look for moments of passion.

Three stood out. The first took me back to graduate school and my desire for others to experience God’s love as I did. The second occurred at the counseling center while a therapist trainee. In a conversation with a staff member, I felt my passion bubble over as I shared my desire with her. The therapeutic retreat revealed the third moment when its founder expressed her belief that I had the qualities of a spiritual healer.

Today

My identity as a spirit healer is still evolving. At its core is my belief that each person must forge a path that resonates with them, regardless of whether they believe in a divine entity. My commitment to helping others heal brokenness, rediscover their blessedness, and uncover their purpose stems from this belief. A website, monthly blogs, and a spiritual fantasy, which is currently in development, are the manifestations of that commitment.

Looking back, I’m grateful for the twists and turns of my meandering path. Each signpost marked a crucial juncture, built upon what came before. Will there be more signposts? Of course. These unknown moments will also likely come with doubt and fear. But my divine advisors encourage me to embrace the unknown and be open to the miracles ahead.

Back to your search for purpose. If you’re already living it, congratulations. Enjoy it. If not, try to believe your life is building towards it. Search within and identify your passion; that’s the magic. Inevitably, magic manifests.

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The Probe That Changed Everything

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Sometimes, the danger you sense isn’t imagined—it’s real.
Here’s a glimpse into Chapter 11 of Shadows and Light: Journeys of a Spirit Healer, where Thom’s strange healing gift draws the attention of someone with dark intentions.

This post isn’t one of my usual blogs. Still, like them, the excerpt explores the themes of life, God, and purpose, as revealed in the journey of Thom Macirdan. Shadows and Light is the first in a five-book Journeys of a Spirit Healer fantasy series.

Thom was working on a vase when he felt Lord Samiltun’s loathsome energy. It wasn’t long before he heard the carriage. “Da,” he called out. “I think we’ve got a customer.” He didn’t want to tell him it was Lord Samiltun because he didn’t think his father would understand how he knew.

Shortly after, footsteps crunched on the gravel path leading to the pottery. And, before anyone could stand, Lord Samiltun walked into the work area.

“Oh, Lord Samiltun,” his Da said. “I was about to take your sample bowl out of the kiln. Redik, would you help me?”

Lord Samiltun grunted.

Thom felt his presence behind him.

“And what are you working on, lad?” Lord Samiltun asked.

“Um,” Thom gulped. “A bud vase.” This time, the probing felt stronger and touched various parts of his body, like his Mam would do when she examined a patient.

“That’s an unusual shape,” Lord Samiltun remarked, placing his hand on Thom’s shoulder.

Like before, Thom pushed back, but he didn’t think it was as successful. “Yes,” he replied. “The customer wanted the mouth of the vase curved to make the flower more visible.”

“What are those blue stones for?” he asked, pointing to the left of Thom’s wheel.

By now, Thom was gritting his teeth and shivering. He didn’t like the lord touching him, and his stomach started yelling at him. “One of Da’s specialties is adding decorative stones to the clay before firing it.”

“And what about the pink in the dish there?” he asked, pointing.

Why can’t he leave me alone, Thom thought, feeling his breath quicken. “Sometimes, we add a splash of color for accents,” he told him, shrugging his shoulders, hoping that the lord would remove his hand. But to no avail.

“Interesting,” Lord Samiltun commented, shifting his hand slightly to see if he could read the boy better.

In desperation, Thom pretended he needed a tool on a bench nearby and stood up, forcing the lord to remove his hand. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“No,” Lord Samiltun responded. “It looks like it will be a nice piece.” He still couldn’t determine the nature of the boy’s gift or strength from his examination. If his gift was substantial, which he thought it was, he’d be a great asset. As young as he was, he was undoubtedly untrained. That would make controlling him easier. Now, he needed to make him and his father more amenable.

“Lord Samiltun,” Da called out. “Your sample piece is ready to evaluate.”

Lord Samiltun stepped away from Thom and went to the other side of the work area to a table where his Da had placed a blue bowl.

Thom resumed his work on the vase, feeling his breath ease. Focusing on smoothing the curve at its mouth, he realized he felt warmer. That’s weird. The pottery wasn’t any hotter than usual. While he sipped a cup of water nearby, he relished Lord Samiltun’s praise for his craftsmanship. Maybe he could earn money by making a few pieces for him.

 Leaning back and stretching, Thom overheard his Da say, “You’re asking me to add more of our clay mixture 4 to your clay? Easily done. The new mix should be ready in ten days. Is that agreeable?”

“Yes,” Lord Samiltun replied. “I must say, I’m very impressed with young Thom’s work. Would you consider apprenticing him to me a few days a week? I could set up a little pottery behind my home. I could even teach him merchanting. Having a combination of merchant and potter skills would enable him to set up his own shop one day.”

Thom looked back when his Da didn’t respond.

I think he needs a bit more encouragement, Lord Samiltun thought.

Thom noticed the lord’s hand twitch a little.

His Da finally replied, “Maybe. Learning about merchanting would be good. I’ll need to speak to my wife.”

“Of course,” Lord Samiltun responded, sneering inwardly.

After the lord left, Redik said, “Da, didn’t you say you didn’t like the man the last time he was here? Are you really considering apprenticing Thom to him?”

“I might have misjudged him,” his Da replied. “He was very nice this time.”

When Lord Samiltun returned to the pottery to see the new sample, his primary goal was the boy. Stepping into the work area, he sent more energy toward Thom and his father to make them more receptive to the apprenticeship.

Thom tried to listen while his Da showed the bowl to the lord. Wouldn’t it be exciting if he had his own pottery? He didn’t even consider how odd it would be for a boy his age.

“This is perfect,” Lord Samiltun exclaimed. “You’re very talented, Mr. Macirdan. Please proceed with making my dishware. Since you’re an honest man, here’s half the agreed cost.”

“That’s very generous, sir,” his Da responded. “The standard down payment is 25%.”

“Yes, I know. However, I’m impressed with your work and believe it merits it.”

Looking around the work area, Lord Samiltun spied the vase Thom had completed on a shelf nearby. “Oh, I see Thom finished his vase.”

Thom had turned around to face Lord Samiltun and his father.

“The blue complements the vase’s brown glazing. And the pink splash makes it something special,” Lord Samiltun said to Thom. “You are quite talented.”

“Thank you, sir,” Thom replied, turning red.

The boy’s pottery skills could be beneficial to him as bribes, Samiltun determined. Deciding to probe him once more, he discovered there wasn’t any resistance.

Sitting at his pottery wheel, Thom felt something pop inside himself.

“Mr. Macirdan,” Lord Samiltun said, “Have you considered my proposal?”

“Yes,” his Da replied. “We’re seriously considering it. Thom does assist my wife, Winni, with treating her patients. Let me talk with her again to see if our younger daughter can take his place.”

“I understand. Will you be able to show me some completed dishware in two weeks? Of course, I don’t expect all of it to be done by then.”

“Yes, we’ll have pieces to show you,” Da replied.

Outside the pottery, Rin had been eavesdropping on the conversation. He sensed Samiltun’s energy toward Thom and his father and the energetic probe. Rin knew the time was approaching for him to take Thom away.

After Lord Samiltun left, Rin returned to his shop to consider the situation. Samiltun’s last probe significantly affected Thom, about which Samiltun was unaware. First, it fully activated Thom’s healing gift. Second, it triggered a much stronger gift. One that Rin couldn’t identify.  He now knew why his spirit guides told him to wait before taking Thom away. It was now time for him to implement his plan.

Rin had to hide the strength of Thom’s gifts from Samiltun when he returned to protect Thom. But before that, he needed to set the stage for their departure. He’d return in two days to suggest to Thom’s parents that he get special training. He’d already given his landlord notice about closing his shop. In ten days, he’d start camping near the pottery to ensure he was nearby when Samiltun came by again.

I hope this moment of Thom’s journey stirred something in you. If you’re curious how he got there, where his path leads, and how his gift unfolds, you can find Shadows and Light: Journeys of a Spirit Healer on Amazon: https://a.co/d/7yRDnAj

Book 2, Where the Heart Leads, continues Thom’s story—his developing spirit healer gift and how he uses it for the good of all. It’s coming later this year.

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What Grows from Broken Plans

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Sometimes disruption is the doorway to divine grace.

In my last blog, I shared a message from my divine advisors about adventures and opportunities. A few hours later, something unexpected happened that changed my unwritten plans: my husband fell and broke his arm. I’m not suggesting that the accident was divinely driven. But what unfolded afterward certainly was.

With his arm immobilized, I stepped into the role of caretaker: managing the household and supporting him. I take this on out of my deep love for him. Still, it was an unplanned interruption.

Two things are important to know. First, I know my calling as a spirit healer is expanding. The messages have been clear. Second, I’ve been told the way it will unfold will be completely unexpected. The engineer in me inevitably keeps trying to figure it out. For example, I wondered if a traditional publisher might contact me about releasing the next book in my spiritual fantasy series, now titled Where the Heart Leads: Journeys of a Spirit Healer.

Up until the accident, I was chugging along at a steady pace with book 2. With my changed responsibilities, I was thrust into a new opportunity: one that forced me to slow down. As my days became more fluid, it opened space in my life for my divine advisors to ‘breathe’ and do their thing. Three nights ago, the first unexpected blessing arrived. I’ll share more about that at another time.

What about you? Is your life so carefully planned out that the unexpected feels like a setback? Are your days so organized that you’re blind to opportunities (even challenging ones) that might contain quiet blessings that support your calling?

Take a moment to reflect. Then offer gratitude. That’s what I do each morning, as something beautiful and holy grows from broken plans.

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You are Innately Good

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Your spirit or soul is a piece of the divine incarnated in your human body. As such, you are holy. During Pride Month, that includes everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. It also includes our persecutors, even those who are power-hungry, greedy, and deceitful. I believe these folks have forgotten who they are at their core. Otherwise, they wouldn’t act as they do.

Still, I don’t want to focus on them here. I want to focus on you, those who are loving, kind, and act justly. To you, I ask a question: What does it feel like to be innately good?

Two days ago, I attended an Akashic meditation session. During the meditation, Jane, who led the session, shared the message that reminded us of our goodness. I found myself wondering what that felt like in my body.

I asked my divine advisors, hoping my body would provide their answer. Nothing came. Since then, I asked again, continuing to imagine what it might feel like.

My first thought was that it might simply be the tingling I experience when connected to the divine. While the sensation was pleasant and reassuring, my intuition said that wasn’t it. That experience seemed more about my place in the divine realm, not how goodness is embodied.

Next, I wondered if it felt like confidence or contentment. But that would imply that I wasn’t innately good when I felt insecure or upset. And my intuition tells me that feeling my goodness is more fundamental.

What else might it feel like? Relaxed? Happy? Grounded? Again, they may be an outcome of our goodness, but they don’t adequately describe how it feels in the body.

So, I ask you: How might you describe the feeling of innate goodness? You’re welcome to share your answer in the comments.

Until then, may your innate goodness bless you and guide you in your life, helping you discover and live your passion for the good of all.

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Give Hatred A Hug

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The other day, I stumbled upon an article that spoke about those who still support the current administration. The essence of the article explained that many of those who still support it are driven by hatred and don’t care about anything the administration does or says. As a result, using logic to persuade them to change won’t work.

That stopped me in my tracks.

As I’ve been sending light and love out to those supporters in my meditation, I thought. Then, what is it that I can do? I immediately realized that beneath that hatred lies someone who is incredibly hurt and afraid. Perhaps that person grew up with a parent who passed their hatred on to them, or hurt them so badly that the seed of hatred was planted and grew as they faced hardships and disappointments in their life.

Again: so what can I do?

In this morning’s meditation, I visualized going up to them, and giving them a hug. I even imagined them squirming and lashing out as I continued to hug them. And then ultimately, letting go, releasing their anger, and crying. And I extended the hug to all around the world driven by hate.

Now, admittedly, I would likely struggle if I faced that person in reality. Sadly, as I watch TV and hear people spouting their hatred, I get angry, and even have to leave the room. So, for now, I give them a virtual hug, sending them love, and healing.

Finally, I want to acknowledge everyone who is challenging the words and actions of the administration with protests, who stand up to prejudice, greed, and injustice. One caution: As best as you can, let love drive your words and actions.

Blessings, peace, and a hug to you all.

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Living Your Best Self

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Throughout much of my life, I’ve strived to connect with God, angels, and spirit guides in pursuit of living my best self. Sometimes it hasn’t been easy. Perhaps you’ve done the same, seeking their help but heard nothing back and have begun to wonder whether these beings genuinely hear. Or maybe you believe they do, but their guidance is spotty, unclear, or just plain confusing. I certainly have felt that. I can’t count the number of times I’ve called out to them, saying, “If you’re trying to send me a message, you need to send it another way because I’m not getting it.”

Nevertheless, I believe these divine beings are present at every moment and ready to give love, support, and guidance if we ask and listen. Asking is usually easy. Sometimes, it’s the listening that’s difficult. Yet, I don’t believe it’s because we’re not trying. I think it’s simply because we have a lot going on: work, family, household responsibilities, errands to run, and more. All demand our attention throughout the day.

To get around that, I firmly believe such beings employ any means to reach us. Certainly, they try through prayer and meditation, but also everyday things: books, posters, movies, songs, dreams, art, overheard comments or strangers, the sudden appearance of objects, animals, and even social media. If you grew up like me in a particular religious tradition, some may even seem ridiculous, if not sacrilegious. After all, shouldn’t we just rely on holy books, sacred writings, and such? I would challenge any implied belief that revelation only happened in the past.

Regardless of the means, I have felt my divine advisors’ presence, as I call them. Their impact has been most profound, for which I am deeply grateful. Their guidance and support enabled me to tap into my highest self and embrace my calling as a spirit healer.

Three years ago, after traveling along my long and winding path of life–through religious life and priesthood, my years of study in counseling psychology, numerous spiritual workshops and courses, and even 26 years in the computer industry–my divine advisors asked me to give back. I created my website, joemcmonaglehsp.com, and posted monthly blogs about living your highest self. A few weeks ago, however, they prodded me to go further: serve as an additional means through which their messages can be conveyed through what I have termed “life-moment readings.” Go to Life-moment Readings under the Offerings menu to learn more about them.

As you travel your path committed to living your best self, I urge you to open yourself to receiving messages in the most unexpected ways. Believe me, these folks are playful and have a sense of humor. I wrote about that in my Divine Humor blog.

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