In the Denise Linn’s “Becoming a Modern Day Oracle” workshop that I recently attended, someone raised the question about how to prevent low self-esteem from getting in the way of giving a good Oracle card reading. Denise responded with something like the following: “Light goes through the cracks.”

My read on this is that divine light or inspiration is able to come through us not despite our imperfections but because of and through them.

In my last year of my Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology, I was required to write a thesis. My thesis was called, “The Good Enough Therapist.” This came out of my therapy to heal my perfectionism and my struggle with not feeling good enough. At the basis of this was first realizing that a perfect therapist does not exist. But even if there was, that person would be someone without empathy, and therefore couldn’t connect with another’s struggles. In contrast, a good-enough therapist is one who recognizes that her or his own brokenness can help them be fully present with their client and walk with the client on their road to healing.

Likewise, for those on a spiritual path and committed to being a light to others, our brokenness (aka cracks) isn’t necessarily an obstacle to sharing that light but a vehicle through which that light can shine. In fact, as a result of them, in conjunction with our own life experiences, we have an opportunity to reach others who have gone through similar experiences. For through the cracks we bring our own unique empathic light. For example, if like me, you’ve struggled with self esteem, as you come to recognize your beauty, you can help others recognize their own because you’ve been there. Equally important, if and when self-esteem issues arise again, say when you’re trying something new, you have an opportunity to normalize that experience for others and remind them that life is a process.  

“Light goes through the cracks.” What a wonderfully freeing piece of wisdom. Thanks Denise.

You would think that as a healer of the spirit, and dedicated to being of service, that I would have no difficulties letting someone take care of me. Wrong. I feel guilt. Even after years of therapy, it’s not always easy. My guilt comes from a lingering belief that I have to take care of myself and that I have no right to ask others for help because it would inconvenience them.

Recently, I was having radiation treatment on my left hand to lessen the impact of an inherited condition. I was told to avoid hot water for a month. Well, in my family, my husband is the primary cook and I clean the dishes. It’s a bit hard to wash stubborn pots with warm water with one hand. When I told my husband about my restriction, he was fully onboard with washing the dishes and cooking.

For the first few days of the treatment, it was challenging for me to see him doing both. You might wonder why I didn’t take over the cooking. Well, the truth is that I’m not the best cook.

So, what did I do? First, I reminded myself that being in a relationship means letting your spouse care for you when you can’t. I have certainly done that for Michael. So, that helped lessen my guilt. More practically, I realized that there were other things I could do, like putting away the dishes, ironing his clothes, paying our bills, and doing other chores that we normally shared.

Still, I do wonder how I would feel if I couldn’t take on any chores for a time and Michael had to do everything. That could be challenging. One day, I believe I will more fully embrace the fact that love means being able to let others care for you when you can’t do so yourself.