Category: Self improvement

Worthiness and Faith

JoeLeave a comment

I’ve written before that I’ve struggled with low self-esteem. I know some of you can relate, never feeling good enough, often comparing yourself to others and concluding you’re lacking. For me, these beliefs stemmed from feeling different from an early age, worsened by bullies. Unfortunately, they were further reinforced by some teachings of the Catholic Church that emphasized unworthiness. For example, the scriptural-based prayer Catholics said before receiving the Eucharist was, “O Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed.” Don’t get me wrong. My intention in writing this is not to bad-mouth Catholicism, which always holds a special place in my heart. I loved its ritual, symbolism, music, and many teachings. Most importantly, it established a foundation of belief in a supreme being, which I treasure to this day.

Many years later, even after much therapy, my sense of unworthiness lingered. Despite chats with my divine advisors, who repeatedly assured me I was loved and innately worthy, this belief lingered. In recent months, this was made plain to me, when expressing gratitude for their help. One day, while chatting with them, they stopped me because I was thanking them for something for which I had already thanked them numerous times. On the surface, this didn’t sound like a bad thing until I realized it came from feeling unworthy of their attention; surely, there was someone else more deserving.

During the Skamania retreat that I recently attended (sponsored by Celebrate Your Life), I named that limiting belief. As part of a ritual led by Denise Linn, I imagined it dissolving into nothingness as a biodegradable paper on which it was written floated down the Columbia River. Later, at the same retreat, Radleigh Valentine brought up the topic of faith in a way that made me reconsider its meaning.

My divine advisors prompted me to broaden it from the one-way—me to God—understanding to a threefold experience. The first centered on reminding me to have faith in myself, as I am now, and not in some distant future when I decided I was enough. The second was to take in, at my core, that God and my divine advisors had faith in me. That’s right. I’ll write it again. They have faith in me as a spirit healer, and especially important, as a human living in complex times. And the third, and sometimes most difficult, is for me to have faith that the promises my divine advisors have made to support and help will occur. I can name so many already. Now, I’m not saying I haven’t had challenges and struggles. During the tough moments, though, I try to remind myself that they have come through, even if it hasn’t been on my timeline.

The reality and gift of worthiness and faith. Beautiful concepts that are quite personal. If you struggle with feeling unworthy and having faith that anyone cares, consider my experience. Believe you are worthy and that God, angels, spirit guides, and all in the divine realm have faith in you.

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It takes courage to let go

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This was the message I received from my divine advisors today. Although my debut novel was just released and over 200 people have downloaded or purchased it in less than a month, I’ve felt weighed down. Some comes from the unfamiliar task of having to promote and market my book. As an introvert, knocking on the doors of bookstores feels scary, to use my inner child’s word. Another weight is that some tasks have not gone smoothly, and I somehow blame myself, even though they’re not in my control. My advisors encouraged me to let go. Just as I wrote the word, encourage, I realized that courage is its root. In effect, they are adding their courage to mine. This morning I went through a meditation to let go offered by Denise Linn, a spiritual teacher. In the meditation, I imagined my weighted worries flowing from my heart into a ball, placing it in a stream, and watching it flow away. It helped.

Are there old limiting beliefs that you struggle to let go? Are there situations that you can’t control but a part of you still tries to? As my advisors encouraged me, let go.

You and I do have the power and courage to do so. Feel it. Claim it. We have the help of God, angels, guides, and even deceased loved ones. to do so.

Feel your courage. Breathe it in. Stand tall. And as you exhale, release it all.

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Celebrate the woo-woo

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You may have heard the phrase woo-woo. Certain people use it to dismiss or even belittle spiritual practices that don’t reflect traditional beliefs. Others, like spiritual teachers, might use it when presenting aspects of their work that even their students might find unusual, like past life regressions, energy healings, or sensing the spirits of the forests. I propose that woo-woo is simply a way to describe the diverse ways we can connect to the divine and receive guidance, each practice possessing validity and meaning to those who follow it.

Consider some traditional practices. Believers are encouraged to pray for help and support from those in heaven, whether to God, saints, and so on. Beneath that is a desire to feel watched over and seen. Others might meditate, attend religious services, and go on retreats in hopes of hearing words that enable them to understand who they are and how to live amidst life’s challenges. Still, others bless themselves with water to cleanse themselves or anoint their bodies with sacred oils to connect them with the divine. Some people might consider that woo-woo.

That’s all that woo-woo is. Why is it necessary to narrow the ways people experience the divine? Why is it crazy to believe that all that exists, both seen and unseen, are made of the same stuff and, therefore, feel a profound connection to it? But it’s not rational, some might insist. Does everything really have to make complete sense to our minds, though? Is love rational? Is faith rational? I’m not just talking about faith in a divine being but in another person.

I must admit that some of the woo-woo stuff doesn’t resonate with me. For example, I like crystals and have a few. But I’m still unsure that crystals emit specific types of energies that we can then use to help our lives. That’s OK. Every practice or belief doesn’t have to. We each get to decide what makes sense to us and aligns with how we look at “life, the universe, and everything,” to use a phrase from the book The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Our spiritual journey is ours to shape and define.

So, celebrate the woo-woo.

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Is arrogance the shadow side of low self esteem?

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This might seem a ridiculous question. Arrogant people strut like they own the world, treating everyone as their servants or worse. Whereas, those who struggle with low self esteem often hide from the world, feeling like they have no value. So how could the answer to my question be, yes? Let me share what led to this question.

Two nights ago, I fell into the same dream repeatedly. That, in and of itself, told me it was important. The dream was a warning of sorts to be wary of becoming arrogant. Most who know me would conclude it wasn’t about me.

When I finally arose to start the day, I spent some time in meditation to reflect on it. As I did, I recalled the numerous occasions, while in the early stages of writing my novel, when my divine advisors told me it would be a great success and lead to other opportunities as a spirit healer. With that was the reminder to ground myself in gratitude and true humility.

During my meditation, I also thought about people who I would characterize as arrogant. A few political leaders came to mind. Some common characteristics came to mind, loud, self serving, and ultimately bullies. I believe that beneath their exterior lies low self esteem. But rather than venturing into their pain and insecurities, which takes courage, they choose to take their pain and fear out on others. So, indeed one could be the shadow of the other.

One word of caution, to those reading this. If you are still struggling to recognize your own innate value and beauty, this message is not for you. I’m reminded of something my first spiritual director, Dustin, told me when I was a novice in religious life. At that time, my self esteem was almost non-existent. I looked to others to form my identity and using the book, The Imitation of Christ, as a guide. The book is focused on self abnegation. Providentially, Dustin was also a licensed therapist and directed me to put down the book. It was a graced moment.

Returning to the dream, I knew it was a gentle reminder, as I prepare to send my first novel off to the publisher next month. Enough for now. I’m on vacation and I felt drawn to post this. Blessings to all of you as you celebrate your beauty.

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Manifesting – Is it all baloney?

Joe2 Comments

Manifesting. Have you heard this used to describe our ability to create what we desire? Recently, a friend emailed me a link to an article about this. The author seemed to believe that manifesting was essentially b.s., concluding that the concept implies that the successful and wealthy correctly manifest and the poor or struggling do not. While I disagreed with her conclusion, it led me to reflect on it. Ironically and providentially, I’m enrolled in a workshop centered around manifesting abundance in all forms and degrees.

I define manifesting more broadly, not only about what we manifest but also about the blessings we receive from the divine. It’s important that we hold our desire in the context of it being for the highest good, not only for ourselves but for others. For this blog, I’m focusing on our part.

Say you want a new job, more money, or a spouse. That doesn’t happen magically, in the sense that we don’t have to do anything. If you want to win the lottery, you can’t if you don’t play. If you want more money but spend recklessly, you must show more respect for your income. If you wish a spouse but hide in your home, you’ll have problems manifesting. So, you have to take action. Many who teach about manifesting say you’re telling the universe you’re serious.

But what about people who do act but have no results? Perhaps the desire may not be in keeping with your current life path. I’ve been in that no-results place myself. I remember being unhappy in a job and wanting to find a position that placed people above profits. No job manifested despite creating a resume and posting it to job boards among other things. Rather than concluding I was doing it wrong, I concluded there was something else to learn. Indeed, there was, and you can read about it in my chapter in “Awaken Your Magic: Real Life Manifestation Journey.“

So, part of manifesting is your attitude. It’s important to believe the desire is possible but also be open to the desire taking time or a different form from what you imagined. If we narrow our desire to something too specific, it may prevent us from seeing something right in front of us.

Post a comment and tell me what you think. It might result in another blog.

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Give Your Intuition Space

JoeLeave a comment

A few days ago, I attended the last session of a webinar that Denise and Meadow Linn offered. During it, Denise led us in a fire ceremony with the intention of releasing all that was no longer served and inviting in all that did. Rituals and ceremonies have always been important to me, even before I was a priest. While metaphorical, the symbolism embedded in them often had the intended result. In the case of Denise’s ceremony, the result was unexpected, making space for my intuition. Let me explain.

For years, I’ve worked with feelings of not being good enough, fear of taking risks, being visible, and pushing myself to be perfect. Through therapy, workshops, and personal study, I understood where these came from, including their intention, which was to keep me safe. So, they weren’t bad, but they limited me in the present. Through that work, I also let go of and invited transformative healing into those parts so they’d benefit me. For example, the perfectionist became the part committed to doing my best. Still, even with this, I knew that these lingering parts still chattered when I tried something new.

Going through the ceremony, subconsciously, I identified this chatter as clutter. And the clutter got in the way of me hearing my intuition. Now, I believe that my intuition is the voice of my divine or higher self, whose goal is to help me live my best self and purpose. Following the ceremony, I discovered that the releasing experience removed some of the chatter clutter, giving my intuition room to breathe.

Interestingly, with the space, my intuition no longer had to yell to be heard. Instead, it communicated its message in a calm, quiet, and, dare I say, even grounded way.

Since last Thursday, as I go through my day, I check in with myself to determine what I’m drawn to do. I consider my options, like writing books, exercising, or cleaning. Sometimes, my intuition doesn’t respond. I take that to mean that they are equal. When it did weigh in, and I listened, I felt both contentment and joy during and afterward. Writing this blog is one example of that.

Space. That’s all it was. Give my intuition space. Space to be heard without shouting. Do you find your intuition competes with the chatter of parts of you that no longer serve? Like Denise did in the webinar, have your own fire ceremony, perhaps using a candle to keep things safe. Then, imagine those parts that limit you being released and floating away like the wisps of smoke from a burning candle. Then, invite in what does serve, allowing your intuition space to voice the answer.

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Don’t Push the River. It flows by Itself

JoeLeave a comment

I heard this phrase recently, and it really struck me. Apparently, it’s the title of a book written by Barry Stevens in 2005. It basically means to let go and trust the timing of the universe. Sometimes, that’s easier said than done.

Over this last year, as a spirit healer, my divine advisors have reminded me to trust them and believe that everything is happening as needed. One of the main areas this applies to is editing and publishing my first book in my spiritual fantasy series. If you’re not aware, editing takes a long, long time and can be quite tedious. Compounding the tedium is learning about something called “show, not tell,” which means that rather than providing information about a character or a situation, create a scene. It makes sense. But it’s required a good amount of rewriting. Because I started this book at the end of 2021, I’ve found myself impatient to complete it and move on to book 2. The message from my advisors echoed the 2005 book title.

Have you ever been in that situation? It can be challenging to embrace. Sometimes, the feeling of impatience comes with the belief that you must do something. Doesn’t the universe, God, or our higher power require us to do our part? If so, then how much are you supposed to do? Per the river metaphor, aren’t there pebbles or rocks you have to move to help it flow better?

As a recovering workaholic, recognizing when to do something and how much is challenging. It comes down to listening to my intuition and being attentive to my body, which gives me warning signs when I’m pushing. For 2024, my intention is to wait for the opportunities to guide me about when to take action. I’m not letting my advisors off the hook; I’ve asked them to make them obvious.

As we approach the end of 2023 and the start of 2024, I realize that some of you might be scrambling to buy presents or stressing about holiday gatherings. But maybe the metaphor is appropriate. Let the river flow, breathe, and find some time to relax and enjoy.

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Turning Doubt into Excitement

Joe3 Comments

Have you ever had the experience where you knew something good was going to happen but you doubted it because your own feelings of unworthiness overpowered it? I have. Last Monday, I attended a session of Cosmic Community, a program offered by Dougall Fraser. The focus was manifesting your vision. Our homework was to visualize our dream, feel the emotions that you’d feel when it became a reality, and then notice and explore any feelings of unworthiness arise.

For me, the dream is the publishing the first book in my spiritual fantasy series. The thing is that for this my dream, I’ve gotten a constant message from my guides though spiritual readers that my book will take off. Despite that, I’ve struggled with doubt, and questions like, “what real proof do I have that that’s even possible?”

Reflecting on this, I received the following question from my guides: “Why does not knowing the details about how this will happen, result in doubt? Must the unknown equate with doubt? I immediately knew that it didn’t. And with that, I felt a weight lifted. Not knowing the how, when or what of a future blessing, doesn’t mean that you have to doubt that it will occur.

Yesterday, I was challenged to go a step further, when I learned that my sister planned a surprise trip for her husband’s birthday. For him, the how and where are unknown, but with that comes excitement. So, in place of the doubt we let go, can we embrace excitement as we anticipate our dream manifesting?

To that end, I invite to do the same homework I have, as part of your daily meditation. Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable and do the following:

  1. Visualize your dream or the good that you desire. What does it look like? What are you wearing? Who are you with?
  2. Once you clearly see than image, become aware of the emotions that you experience, for example, happy, fulfilled, grateful, etc. But feel them not just as a future experience but in that very moment; in effect, you are inviting that dream to begin manifesting now.
  3. Finally, notice if any unworthiness, doubt, or fear arise. Acknowledge them with the intention exploring their why later. Then, invite the feelings back that you had of your manifested dream. Then, hold them in your heart throughout the rest of your day.

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Letting go, trust, risk

Joe2 Comments

In a recent personal oracle card reading, I received that a message that an area of my life that is blocked is abundance. The tool to break through it being still and open. The outcome of doing will be the manifestation of wonderous experiences. An exciting message, huh. My intuition says that this message is not just for me but for anyone seeking to discover opportunities and fully manifest their gifts.

A few weeks ago, I started a Certified Aura Reader course offered by Dougall Fraser and his husband David Harel. The goal is to enable the enrollees to perceive people’s auras and understand what they represent about the person’s self and gifts. As a spirit healer still growing into my identity, I sensed that developing this ability would be important. Not even half way into the course, I discovered three ideas that might be helpful to anyone.

Letting go: While this is not a new idea, for me letting go also meant telling my mind voice to shush. Ever committed to helping me on my spiritual path, it falsely believed that to help me it needed to push harder to figure “it” out, not aware that by doing this it hindered my ability to hear my intuition.

Trust: With a quiet mind, I’m once again reminded to trust. It too is not a new idea. But it calls for trust at a deeper level. For out of the quiet, our intuition has more space to perceive messages and images and to speak. A few weeks ago, during my first practice aura reading, quieting my mind and trusting were challenging. Although, what I sensed was real, it was limited. I had to trust wholeheartedly that into the silence (or at least the space that had less mind chatter) would come what I needed to hear and thus share with the person I was reading.

Risk: It can be scary to try something new, especially if others might consider it hogwash. In my case, risk called me to not edit or doubt, speaking whatever I heard through my intuitive sense, in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way. Now, before doing so, it necessitated that I go neutral, that is, set aside my mood so I could tap into the other’s energy. Risking from this place came a great sense of satisfaction.

Letting go, trust, and risk. Simple ideas but having profound outcomes if we are open to embracing them.

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Make Your Own Kind of Music

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This song, by the Mamas & the Papas, popped into my head this morning. The complete chorus lyrics are: “Make your own kind of music. Sing your own special song. Make your own kind of music, even if nobody else sings along.”

This struck me this morning after pulling two cards for an Oracle deck the night before. The first card was Archangel Jeremiel, whose focus is forgiveness. The second card was Self-Acceptance. The combination of the song and the cards reminded me of a few divine messages.

As we travel along our path towards wholeness, endeavoring to live a good life and our purpose, we’re not going to do it perfectly. We’re simply need to do the best we can, and use any mistakes or struggles as learning opportunities. Archangel Jeremiel’s invitation to self-forgiveness is to fully accept ourselves as we are in the moment, letting go of any goal that implies that we would be more effectively living our purpose when we achieve X or exhibit Y.

Coming off that, the song lyrics calls us to make our own kind of music, as we are now, with all our messiness and frustrations, as well as blessings and successes.

That’s in fact the beauty of our incarnation on earth. Each of us are unique individuals. We bring into our life our experiences, gifts, struggles, passions, fears, and even quirks. Together they make their own melody that others may not understand or even agree with. Certainly, having the support of others is helpful. But we are encouraged to raise our voice in song now, as loud as we can. Granted, some of the music may clash. But I believe that giving it time, prayer, and blessings, the music will harmonize, creating an amazing chorus that transforms and heals.

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