Healer Menace and Miracle: Chronicles of a Spirit Healer

Hi everyone. This isn’t one of my usual blogs. This is actually an announcement about the fact that I recently submitted a book proposal to a publisher. The title above is the working title of my spiritual fantasy. It will be the first book in a series.

Admittedly, this type of writing is a significant departure from my blogs thus far, as they have been discussions about God, purpose, self-improvement, and the like. However, like my blogs, the book does reflect the intent of my website, to inspire people to remember their innate divine self and their unique gifts and calling.

As mentioned in my post last December, the idea for it came unexpectedly after attending a writers workshop at the end of 2021.

This video introduces you to the storyline of the book, and the main character Thom Macirdan.

Announcement: Book proposal submission.

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Strengthening our Connection

The eve of the day on which many celebrate the birth of God as human, a bringer of light.
The seventh day of Hanukkah, representing the seventh day that the temple lantern remained burning.
The third day following the Winter Solstice, marking the coming of more daylight.

These events call out our connection to the divine. I believe we already have that innately. For like Jesus, we are incarnated essences of the divine, and bearers of that same light.

I’ve been reading James Redfield’s Celestine Prophecy series again. Its characters explore their connection to source, including remembering their life’s purpose, and committing to resolving past hurts that limit their ability to do so. Through their discussions, they identify coincidences and signs from the divine that can support that.

I love reading these types of books, because they resonate with my own journey. In my case, fear has been a limiter. This has surfaced in such ways as fear of trying something new or getting it wrong. To help me heal and move past this, I regularly seek guidance from the divine.

This morning, at 4:30 am, I awoke believing that I had just received such guidance. Now, my understanding is that between the hours of 3 and 5 am, we are especially sensitivity to divine messages. Mine was an invitation to strengthen my connection. That message was preceded, over the last month, by four signs, which alluded to it. The first was the suggestion to read the Redfield series again. The second was an oracle card that acknowledged that although my path has been a meandering one, it serves my life purpose. The last two are signs that some of you might not believe: a flickering overhead kitchen light (one of four) caused by a loose wire, and an occasionally unresponsive wireless mouse, neither of which are resolved yet. This message didn’t point out what I wasn’t doing wrong, but communicated encouragement and hope.

At this time of year, when we light candles or trees, and celebrate connections, what messages or signs have you received? I truly believe that you are provided them. If you haven’t noted any, no worries. You’ll receive more.  Just keep your eyes, ears, and hearts open, and ask your higher power or God to help you recognize them.

May the blessings of this season warm you heart, and make you glow with divine light.

p.s. After I wrote this but before I posted it, I went for a walk. While listening to music, a commercial came on that essentially said that despite the hardships and challenges we face, we’ve got this.

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Lead your Dream; Embody your Vision

What is your dream or vision? Are you living it? If you are still searching for yours, one way to find it is to consider what you are drawn to. What excites you or arouses your passion?

Two years ago, my passion resulted in the creation of my website, in service of my calling as a spirit healer. Up until now, besides posting blogs, my vision included writing a self-help book. But a year ago, that plan took a surprise direction when I attended a writing workshop and heard a participant explain that she wanted to write a fiction book that introduced children to spirituality. That idea sparked a flame in me that has turned into a blazing fire now, as I near completion of my first book in a spiritual fantasy series, called Healer Menace and Miracle (working title).

I have to say, that from the start, writing about the adventures of my main character, Thom, coming into his spirit healing gift, has been a blast. As I put the words on the paper, I felt daily inspiration writing about Thom’s encounters, from a run in with an unscrupulous merchant who wanted to use him, to Thom healing a dying toddler, to name two. Wave after wave of joy swept over me as I described Thom’s journey as an emerging healer.

Throughout this year, I must admit that I wondered about publishing my book. Three months ago, I signed up for the Celebrate Your Life conference. Unbeknownst to me when I signed up, I learned that one of the sponsors, Hierophant Publishing, was inviting participants to submit a proposal before the end of the year, from which they would select one person to whom they would offer a free contract. For the last month, I’ve worked on my proposal. While it isn’t quite as enjoyable as writing my book, it certainly is key to manifesting this part of my dream. Since I don’t know if I’ll be selected, I am letting go of the outcome, trusting that what happens is for the highest good.

Returning to the blog title: Lead your dream; embody your vision: Through both the workshop participant’s comment and Hierophant Publishing’s offer, God and my spirit guides invited me to embody my vision in an unexpected way. Rather than just following my dream, I felt called to lead it; in other words, I had to put in time and effort to give birth to it.

At the start of this last month of the year, what steps have you taken to embody your vision and lead your dream? Those steps don’t have to be large. They could even be as small as visualizing your dream in a meditation or even creating a Vision Board. As you enjoy spending time with your loved ones, take the time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. So, that come January, you have a vision in mind and a plan to manifest it.

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What is God?

Notice: This blog is about three-times my usual length.

One of my favorite vacations is visiting Hawaii. The reason goes back to when I was working in the software industry. Hawaii, or any place with a beach, represents a location where I can unplug from all schedules and activities. I see myself simply sitting on the beach, with my toes buried in the sand, listening to the waves crash against the shore, reading a book, and occasionally glancing up to see other vacationers reading, sunbathing, walking their dogs, or frolicking in the water.

For the last couple of months, I’ve found myself thinking about energy, God, and us. Through science classes, we’ve learned that all matter is made of energy. So, if I were sitting on the beach now, that would mean that the sand, the water, the sun, my book, the dogs, me, and you, are all matter. The more solid we appear, the slower our energy vibrates.

But what does that mean from a spiritual perspective? Well, in workshops that I’ve attended or books that I’ve read, that covered this topic, the presenter encouraged us to raise our vibration to connect with the divine, like angels, as Kyle Gray (#kylegray) teaches, implying that we access the divine on an energetic level. In a recent conference, Dougall Fraser (#yourlifeincolor) talked about the color of our auric energies, how they reflect our struggles and dreams, and essentially how they align for our good and the highest good.

Now, you may have noticed that my website is called “Remember Your Divine You.” That title is based on my belief that humans are essentially small pieces of God’s essence incarnated to earth, that many people call the soul. Might our souls be energy vibrating at an incredibly fast rate?

And now I’m finally getting to my original question, what is God? Many might say that God is love. Our course, I would agree. But, is there something underneath that? I mean, if our soul is energy, then wouldn’t that mean that God is energy too, and vibrating at an incredible rate, perhaps even infinitely fast? Now, if I raised this question with my catechism teacher, when I was a child, I might have been accused of sacrilege, to even speculate that the creator of all is “just” energy. Yet intuition doesn’t think it’s sacrilege.

Bear with me a bit longer. So, if we’re energy and God is energy, then the angels are also energy. Kyle Gray describes God as the heart, and the angels as the heartbeats. For me, that translates to angels being energetic expressions of God, like Archangel Raphael reflecting a healing God, and Archangel Michael reflecting a protecting God, to name two.

At the same conference, where I heard Dougall Fraser speak, two members of my spiritual group heard Sunny Dawn Johnston (#sunnydawnjohnston) explain that angels each have their own unique frequency. I found myself thinking that if angels are energetic expressions of God, with a unique frequency, might not each of us (aka, our souls) as energetic expressions of God, also vibrate with our own unique frequency? If so, does that mean that we exhibit a unique aspect of God, like the angels? And, does this uniqueness form the basis for our particular purpose or calling in life? I think so.

I know. This is a lot of speculation. I don’t know anything with certainty. All of this is based on my experiences, studies, intuition, and basically my connection to God, angels, and spirit guides.

I’m coming to the end. I promise. With all of this speculation, I also find myself channeling my preaching teacher in the seminary. “What,” he might ask me, “is a practical application of all of this for your readers’ everyday lives?” Well, first, as we await the results of the mid-term elections, most of us have likely seen the continuing division within our country, not to mention our world. And I’m not just thinking about division between people but essentially the division between us and the planet (aka global warming).

My speculation challenges us to remember that at our soul level we are all of the same essence. This further challenges us to create a connection with those with whom we differ, in other words, build bridges. I must admit that I find this especially difficult when faced with people who inflict harm and even death on others, whether it’s through greed, misuse of power, violence, and so on. While I believe that all of that harmful behavior comes from the hurt, fear, and anger of traumas that these folks have experienced, it’s still hard to see their divine essence that seems hidden underneath. Yet, as a spirit healer, my unique vibration in this life is to somehow shine light on the shadows created by that trauma to enable them to remember who they are, and thus shine their own light.

As we discover our unique vibration, when we look out to people, animals, the earth, and yes, even the entire universe, may we eventually and ultimately see the beautiful, colorful, and holy kaleidoscope of energy that we call life.

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Recently, I had an unpleasant interaction. The person, who I’ll call person A, posted something political to a private chat group, but that I felt was inappropriate, given the context of the other exchanges. Rather than challenging the post subject, I raised that very question in the chat group. The person responded by saying it was intended to bring levity and told me to shut up. I chose not respond, both for the group’s sake, and because I knew any response would lead to an escalation. The thing is, person A can be very generous and loving. But I must admit the incident bugged me.

The other day I was talking with someone, person B, who was also wrestling with an unpleasant interaction. Like me, it gnawed at him. During that talk, the image of a pebble in a shoe came to mind.

I don’t know about you, but if, while walking, I feel a pebble in my shoe, the first way I handle it is to shake my shoe so I don’t feel it and can continue walking. For a time, this works. But inevitably it comes back.

In my conversation with person B, I equated the pebble with our respective interactions. When the interaction comes to mind, sometimes we might shake our virtual foot to move it so we can forget it. But then, something jiggles it and we feel it all over again.

So, of course, the best solution is to remove it (aka let it go). But, for me that felt insufficient. Rather than simply dropping the pebble, I suggested that we might even visualize virtually giving it back to the person. Doing so, helped. This morning, I realized that I had a few other pebbles in my shoe that I need to address.

Have you found yourself in similar situations? None of us can make someone respond the way we would like. While the ideal is to talk to the person and hope to resolve the issue. Some issues are so loaded, even for both people, that talking would only increase the conflict. So, what about virtually giving the pebble back? Best wishes to all of you.

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You are a unique creator

You are a unique creator of light; we are unique creators in light.

I woke up unsettled this morning, an aftermath of writing my last blog. After breakfast, I took a walk. It was a gray morning and reflected my mood. A few moments in, song lyrics from the “Come From Away” musical popped into my head – “Out of the darkness… into the light.” It felt like a reminder that light was present even if I couldn’t see or feel it. Listening to more lyrics, I came upon one character, who upon seeing a couple fearfully clutching their Bible because they did not understand what was happening, ask to borrow their Bible and showed them a passage from Philippians 4:6, “Be anxious for nothing.” These too felt like a message from the divine.

As I bathed in the words, they brought me some peace and a reminder of my calling to serve. It felt like an invitation to create something unique out of these experiences and offer that to others. In fact, I believe that through our own experiences, and the way we handle our struggles and successes, we are all unique creators of light. Even if a path is shared by others, it is still unique because who you are.

I’m currently writing a fantasy novel. The primary character, Thom, is a spirit healer. As I write about the Thom growing into his gifts, what is so freeing is that I get to create what I want, including his encounters, learnings, and challenges. It flows from me naturally because of who I am and who I aspire to be. This freedom also applies to my life, I can create what I want, which is unique to me, and that may help others.

The same is true for you. Each day, you get to write/live your story based on who you are and who you aspire to be. You have the opportunity to create something new and beautiful because of how you uniquely experience and learn from your challenges and blessings. And as you bathe in this newly created light, you offer the same light to those around you. From the same Philippians passage (the Jerusalem Bible), …”if there is anything you need, pray for it, …, and that peace of God [higher power], which is so much greater than we can understand, will guard your hearts and thoughts…”

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Tragedies and blessings

Tragedies and blessings – how do you wrap your head, heart, and spirit around them, especially when they happen within a few days of each other?

Three weeks ago, I was preparing to attend a retreat. I had signed up for it without knowing the primary speaker. It didn’t make sense. But my guides, God, and the angels agreed that I should attend. I was looking forward to discovering what had drawn me to it.

Six days later, two days before the retreat, I learned that my niece and nephew’s second son, Bennett, just 6 months old, suddenly died. Bennett was a healthy and happy child. No words can describe the anguish that my niece and nephew are going through, not to mention that of his older brother. How can anyone wrap their heads around such a tragedy?

My husband and I had met Bennett for the first time a few weeks before, and even held him on our laps. What was so striking about him was that when he looked at you, you felt like he was looking into your soul. Watching him being fed by his grandmother (my sister), I believed he would grow into a sensitive, passionate, and even holy man. I looked forward to seeing that happen.

At my niece’s request, the funeral service was just the immediate family. So, I still attended the retreat. I shared about my great nephew’s death. And many came up to me, expressing sorrow, including the retreat leaders, and telling me that they would be praying for Bennett’s family.

During the retreat, through the talks and exercises, I experienced many aha moments about healing and embodying your highest self. They were truly blessings, for which I felt gratitude. Yet, at the same time, images of Bennett’s smiling face would pop into my head as a stark contrast.

So, I return to my original question. How do you wrap your head, heart, and spirit around this? Wasn’t Bennett cheated from being able to embody his highest self? As a spirit healer and someone who talks to the divine daily, you would think that I would have answers. I don’t. Just this morning, I walked by a mother carrying an infant. I imagine my niece doing the same, and feeling a stab to her heart.

While I don’t have answers, I do have some thoughts. First make space for all of the emotions and thoughts that arise, as I am trying to do. Honor any anger, sorrow, confusion, when they come. Even honor any guilt you might have about having a good day. Next, reach out to loved ones to share those emotions. Even scream and yell at God and ask for understanding. And finally, be gentle with yourself, take time away if you can, treat yourself to a sweet (or whatever takes the edge off) if you can’t, and just do your best to get by.

My heart forever goes out to my great nephew Bennett and his family.

Addendum: After publishing this blog, I find myself dissatisfied with my suggestions, even though I do believe in them. What makes this further dissatisfying, much less confusing, is the song that keeps going through my head, Requiem from Dear Evan Hansen. As mentioned elsewhere, I regularly get messages from my guides and angels through music. In this case, what the singers are expressing is so different from what Bennett’s family and my family feels. Is this truly a message? If not, why does it keep popping up? It just doesn’t make sense. What message am I meant to get God, guides, and angels? What healing am I being guided to offer?

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They call me Tavi

One of my favorite fantasy series is “The Codex Alera” by Jim Butcher. The main character, Tavi, faces numerous challenges as he discovers his identity. One reason I like this series is that when Tavi encounters a situation that scares him sh**less, he proceeds anyway because he knows it’s for the good of all.  As he prepares to face another challenge, his partner tells Tavi, “Fear is the enemy. Respect it. But do not let it conquer you before the fight has begun” (Butcher, 2008, p. 334).

I resonated with this advice, and wrote about my own approach to it in my last blog, “Who is driving the bus?” Over the last few weeks, while traveling, further insights arose. The first is about shifting my direction. The second is about my call to serve.

In interacting with my Mindset Makeover group, one of my team used the word shift to describe the changes she is making. The word jumped out at me powerfully. For many years, I’ve worked to change some aspect of myself to increase my self-esteem. On hearing the term shift, I realized that I experienced that word as a gentle direction adjustment rather than an about face, which is how I have viewed change. Shift reflected that I was already on the right path and mostly aligned. So, it felt easier to implement.

During my recent travels, I found myself repeatedly applying this metaphor. For example, when I heard about many flight cancellations and anticipated having difficult conversations with family, I was able to shift my attention from the fear that arose to my intuition and let go. Time and again, as small or large fears surfaced, I applied this approach. It felt so right, even if there were times that the outcomes associated with my fears weren’t as perfect as I hoped.

The second realization was about service. Through the Mindset workshop, I realized that in my studies over the last year, I erroneously thought I had to learn more before really being of service. Embracing the shift metaphor enabled me to see and respond to opportunities to serve in the most simple ways.

Connecting and serving

One of the most profound opportunities was with my niece, Maureen. Maureen has Down syndrome, at a level that is considered profound. As a result, she has limited ways to communicate. For the last 25+ years that I’ve traveled to visit my husband’s family, including Maureen and her parents, while I have shown her love, given her hugs, and so on, I must admit that felt a little stiff. I was fearful of doing the wrong thing with her.  Both the shift metaphor and the reminder that the simplest way to serve is to love, enabled me to relax and trust my intuition. So, for this visit, I played with Maureen, held her hand, helped her move around her home, and just sat with her so her parents could attend to other things. It was delightful. Maureen was all smiles. It was such a treasured experience.

As you travel your own road to wholeness and service, perhaps the shift metaphor would be useful to you, and enable you to open up to opportunities that you might not have considered before.

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Butcher, J. (2008). Princeps’ Fury. London: Penguin Books, Ltd.

Who is driving your bus?

I’ve just finished the Mindset Makeover course. As mentioned in an earlier blog, the focus of this workshop was to identify and release one obstacle keeping you from doing what you want to achieve. My block was trusting my intuition.

Through the workshop, I discovered that my obstacle’s goal was to keep me safe. While that was important as a child, it only limited me as an adult. The overwhelming feeling associated with this obstacle was fear. As a result of the workshop, two realizations emerged.

The first was understanding that my obstacle was tied to spiritual perfectionism. This unconscious goal constantly reminded me that I was not ready to be a healer, because I didn’t have enough training. This built in me the desire to attend as much training as possible so that I would be “spiritually perfect.”

Who is driving your bus?

This awareness made me also realize that my fear of getting hurt or doing it right might not completely go away. So, I couldn’t just wait until it was gone before doing what I felt called to do. In other words, I could no longer allow my fear to drive my bus.

As part of my Certified Angel Guide training, I was asked to offer healing to another. Even though I felt fear, I knew I needed to finally offer it. Now, I had previously printed out the instructions for doing so to ensure that I “did it right.” But it was difficult to offer while attempting to read the instructions at the same time. At some point, I realized that I hadn’t followed the them exactly, and that’s when my intuition nudged my fear out of the driver’s seat and informed me that it didn’t matter because my intention was clear. Further along in the healing, my intuition called me to make further changes in how I did the healing. It felt right and very freeing. The next steps are for me to continue practicing this change of drivers.

I wonder if you have had experiences where you felt called to do something but hesitated or didn’t proceed because fear was driving your bus. I’d invite you to build up your trust in your intuition, so, if fear does arise and start driving your bus, you can ask your intuition to take over the driving.

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Two Gifts

I recently received two gifts from the divine.

The first happened last week. I found myself thinking about my connection to my divine teachers, but not feeling their love. I wished I could feel it. Immediately, they reminded me of my meditation video about connecting with them, and suggested that I take that to the next level with love.

So, I brought to mind what I feel when my husband looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes and ones that glow with love. As I I feel that love in my heart and gut, I apply it to my divine teachers. Coming from a childhood where I was mostly taught to fear God, feeling this love is such a gift. So, I’d invite you to try this.

The second occurred yesterday while listening to Radleigh Valentine, a spiritual teacher who spoke at a workshop I’m attending. He said that when he faces challenges, he relies on his determination not to be defeated and his faith. His faith is based on knowing that his divine guides support him, as evidenced by the signs and synchronicities that he’s previously received from them. On hearing that, I felt like Saint Paul, from Christian scriptures, when he was knocked off his horse.

In college, my faith underwent an incredible transformation to one that became personal and joyous, and based on a loving God. After leaving my Catholic faith because some of its beliefs no longer resonated, I basically forgot about faith. Radleigh’s words rekindled an old flame. Like him, I have had signs and messages from my divine teachers. Approaching faith like Radleigh brought me full circle, back to something so precious, and one that I can tap into when I face challenges.  This morning, in fact, during meditation, Archangel Sandalphon gave me a wonderful phrase – grounded in faith – that helps me feel grounded, knowing that due to faith, my divine teachers are right beside me enabling me to release my worries.

If your beliefs have undergone changes, but you feel a little uncertain about your new direction, reimagine your faith to one based on the support and signs you’ve already received from God and your divine help.

Two gifts for me; and I hope two gifts for you too.

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